LOUSY
by strangelyLIGHT
Summary: Tavros Nitram has just had the worst week of his life. He returns to school, afraid of what his classmates may think of his current... state. Maybe things will turn around for him? AU, Highschool!stuck, Rated M for language, drug use, violence & hot gay action *NOTE: I'M BAD AT EDITING/UPDATING. SO BAD* Next update: SEQUEL IS UP! CHECK OUT MY STORY 'WRECK!
1. ch1: cLASS sTARTS

All eyes are on you when you returned to school in a wheelchair. It was painfully early Friday morning when your mother was pushing you along in the disturbing thing. Your hands rest in your lap as you stare at the giant space below you, where your legs use to exist. In their place are just the stubs of your thighs wrapped up in gauze. Being silent as hell, your neck cranes down into a dumb yellow 'lucky bandana' your mother had you wear. But somehow you have doubts that it'll help you at all. Your mind is still wrapping around what all happened to you. All in one week at that.

It's official. Being crippled was the worst thing that has ever happened to you.

You realize you've now been hauled into the office of your High School.

"Excuse me," your mother speaks.

"Yeah, what do you ne- oh! Mrs. Nitram." Greets your principal, Mr. Hussie. He glances at you and there was a brief sign of shock. But he gave you a slight smile."It's good to see Tavros is still able to come back to school." He says half-heartedly. Clearly the sight of the crippled 17 year old wasn't what anyone would claim to be something 'good to see'.

"Oh please Mr. Hussie, no need to be formal. Call me Tinker." Your mother bashfully says.

Your principal shrugs, "Ok." and they began a conversation. Slightly ignoring the chatter of the two, you fumble with your thumbs. You can feel the massive pit in your stomach and your heart sloppily sliding down into your body. Not even the ringing bells were able to snap you out of your depressing mood. You hear your mother mutter some words of encouragement to you, followed by a kiss on the forehead to signal she's leaving. You just continue to stare at the ground.

"Right,_ sooo_," the principal pipes up, "Your mom asked me to find a caretaker, or something, to push you around 'til you can do it yourself. So who do you wa-" Mr. Hussie was then interrupted by heavy footsteps that casually walk into the room. This somehow sparked your interest, so you decide to take a look. A tallish and slightly tanned American teenager appeared in the doorway. His murky, dark purple dyed hair was a massive mess and his baggy clothes were no cleaner than the mass on top of his head. His black pajama pants were polka dotted with circles of a pale plum and were long enough to loosely wrap around his ankles and drag along the ground. His hands rested in his black hoodies pockets that was half way open revealing a lavender purple shirt that contrasted against his ensemble. Slung over his shoulder was a bright purple backpack. On his face seems to be light traces of what looked like clown makeup around his mouth and eyes.

"Aw, _Jesus Christ_," Mr. Hussie whines. "Late_ again_, aren't we, Mr. Makara?" mAKARA? You think. Now you recognize this guy. You've seen your classmate Gamzee Makara around. In fact, you think you hang in the same place during lunch as him. You also recall talking to him a good few times. And here he is, slouching at the entrance of the office. He shrugs a bit with that infamous laid-back smile on his face.

"Sorry Hussie. Lost track of time s'all." His voice sighed.

"You've been late all this week. I guess that means I gotta give you detention, or some shit..." Hussie then looked at you and smiled a bit. "Okay, here's an idea. Instead of detention, why don't you help out Mr. Nitram here until he's got a hang of getting around?" You realise that Gamzee hasn't even noticed that you've been standing - er- sitting there,(wOW, i'LL NEED TO GET USE TO SAYING THAT) the whole entire time. He looks at you and widens his grin,

"Oh!" Gamzee chuckles, " Uh, T-Taren...?_ Naw_, that don't sound right," he thinks for a second then smiles, "Tavros! Right?" Your heart sinks a bit, the fact that he barely knows your name. It sucks even more because you two hang out with the exact same group of people, yet he can't even remember your name. Your frown stretches slightly but you're able to mutter out a "Yeah."

"That's sweet! Know what Hussie? I'd _love_ to help this mother-, I mean, uh, guy, out."

"Alright," Mr. Hussie turns to you and asks, " Sound good?"

"S-sure." you grumble.

"Oh. And Mr. Makara?" says Hussie, "What have I told you about wearing your pajamas?"

"_Riiight_," he groans, "I'll wear some pants next week." He gave a casual grin and a small thumbs up.

After a schedule change for Gamzee and yourself to have the same classes, you both leave the office and headed to your second hour class. Gamzee pushed you along the slightly empty hallways. You two were silent for a bit. Aside from Gamzee's meaningless humming.

"Sooo," Gamzee starts, "Tavros, I've seen you around school. And I think I've talked to you a few times. But you were standin' then. So what went down with them legs of yours?" You really don't feel like talking but it would've been rude if you just ignored him.

"I, uh," you stutter, "I got in a bad car accident earlier this week. It was, uh, this sunday. Somehow my legs were able to get messed up pretty bad. And by bad, I mean to the point where hope for recovery was uh, well, _hopeless._ And having dead legs hanging off my body didn't, uh, didn't exactly sound good. So, th-they amputated my limbs. The.. The doctor said fake legs are, um, really expensive. So I don't think I'll be getting of those any time soon. My family can only afford a wheelchair for now."

"Hmm," you hear Gamzee grumble, "Well_ damn!_ I can't help but feel sorry for a motherfucker. But hey, I'll be here to help as long as you need brother." He pats your shoulder as you two turn down a hallway in a comforting, friendly manner.

"Uh, thanks, Gamzee." You say. The class you were heading to was english. Both of you linger in the hallways until the bell rings and a rush of kids are released into the corridors. It was a blast of chattering. As soon as the room was empty, Gamzee props open the door and pushes you in. Mr. Egbert wasn't inside the room at the moment.

"Alright, bro. Where does this crazy motherfucker sit?" Gamzee asks you. The classroom desks are in rows that split in half leaving a massive space between them for the teacher to walk up and down. The desks face inwards, a.k.a, at each other. You always seemed to like this setup in this room.

"Well, uh, Mr. Egbert allows our class to sit freely. It would, uh, it would probably be best to have us set over there. But we might have to have to share a desk."

"Man!" states Gamzee, "Egbert lets ya set wherever? Thass cool! I don't think my old class got to do that...We just sat in assigned seats 'nd stuff. But that's cool too. I'm sure teach knows what he's doing." His voice was lower than a baritone singer and every word he said grinded against his throat. It somehow shook you and made your heart shudder. Gamzee pushes you right next to him and he sits down in the typical school desk. He hums another random tune as he brings a couple of pills up to his mouth and chewed them happily. They looked like pain killers.

"Was that, uh, medicine?" You ask.

"Well," he swallows, "You can say that." he chuckles. You then remember what a massive druggy Gamzee is rumored to be. Guess it's true. According to everyone you know, he's always high, and it's a rare occasion for him to be sober. That's usually when he's just out at the moment, or something's terribly wrong.

"Oh." you respond. "I'm not a... **fan**, of drugs."

He laughs, "Not expectin' ya to be."

Abruptly, the door opens and a couple of people walk into the room. It was your friends Sollux and Karkat. Sollux was first to speak,

"Oh Travoth, thank god you're al- _Jethuth Chrith_!" your friend yells as he spots the wheelchair and the missing legs. Karkat looks over and shock was painted all over his face.

"Tav, Jesus, what the hell did you _DO_ to yourself!" Karkat rushes over, then he glances over at Gamzee, "And what the_ fuck_ are you doing with _this_ clown?"

"Hey they Kar." Gamzee happily replies, waving lazily. Kar rolls his eyes.

"Gamzee, you're high, aren't you?" Nags Karkat. Gamzee nods heavily.

"Like a motherfucking astronaut, brother." Karkat groans annoyed and you laugh a little.

You regurgitate the story to your two friends as to what happened to your legs and why you're in a wheel chair.

"Wow, I'm schorry to hear that. I juth hope you'll be alright. I know Vrithka already givthz you a hard time, I can't imagine what sche'll do when sche theethz you." Sollux says, sitting down.

"Y-Yeah. I guess I'm already, uh, prepared for the worst from her. I'm glad that I don't have class with her until later on. Uh, _today_, of course." Your voice rattles out. Though you try to hide it, you're actually extremely paranoid as to what will happen when she sees you in a wheelchair, legs completely gone.

oH gOD, SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH ME,  
oH WELL,  
i ALREADY KINDA EXPECTED THIS, i GUESS i'LL BE FINE,

You're trying very hard to cope with your nervousness due to the unavoidable events that will have you spiral into a dangerously emotional mood.

"It's Vriska, let her just do whatever the fuck she wants. But remember-whatever she says don't take it personally. Besides, all she's out to do is pump up her pathetic ego and get her kicks, because_ honestly_, she** literally** has nothing else better to do with her life." Karkat rants, sitting next to Sollux.

"I-I know."

Other kids begin to pour in. Some care about your condition, some don't even look over. You know you're not the most popular kid. The fact that you have a horrible speech impediment is a problem within itself. But now that you're in a wheelchair, you can't help but feel you're moving lower and lower on the 'interesting' scale. You sigh heavily and let your hand hang from the back of your neck.

When Mr. Egbert enters, you two talk for a bit. He asks the typical 'Are you ok?' 'Tell me if you need something' 'If you have a tough time let me know.' so on and so forth. Boy you're going to get a boat loads of sympathy from the teachers. After the chat, the bell rings and Mr. Egbert takes his place in front of the class and claps his hands together to get everyones attention.

"G'morning everyone! How ya doin?" The class responds in a careless murmur. "Great! Now today I want you guys to prepare your essay idea of the theme for Con-Air. I want you all to organize your thoughts and brainstorm. Today is a work day so talk amongst yourself and get stuff done! I'll answer any questions anyone has." Mr. Egbert then returns to his desk to watch Con-Air himself like he always does on work days.

You can already tell that only 30% of class is actually doing what they were told and the rest are just talking aimlessly. You scribble down some ideas in your notebook until Gamzee began to fondle your mohawk.

"Does this feel weird? Like, having only_ this_ part of your hair?" His fingers graze the buzzed portion of your hair. "Whoa, this feel motherfucking awesome!" You gasp and squirm away.

"Don't_ do_ that! It tickles..."

"Whoa! Sorry brother." Gamzee puts his hands in the air playfully. He smiles and leans back in his seat. "Did I ever tell you how motherfuckin cool you name sounds? Tavros! Damn, that shit feels fine to say." The way his groggy voice said you name made you have chills down your back. You're not exactly sure how to interpret the reaction but you brush it off.

"Oh, um, th-thanks I think."

"Yeah bro." He says closing his eyes, becoming relaxed. He then sits up straight and looks at you with the biggest grin. "_Tavbro_!"

"What?"

"Tavbro! That's what I should call you!"

"I-I don't-"

"It's a beautiful combination of your _wicked_ name and_ bro_!_ Damn_, I just created some miracles all up in here!" He states, eccentric of his new creation. You can't help but laugh at how excited he for something so simple. He joins you in laughing. You wipe the small tears from your eyes, and look over at him. You suddenly feel uncomfortable because you realize that Gamzee is staring at you with a blank expression.

"G-Gamzee?" You stutter. No response. Then his eyes widen.

"Oh." He finally says, he turns his head away. "Oh yeah, um, sorry." He grabs his forehead. "Y-You were sayin' something, bro?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Right, right." Now both of his hands are caressing his face, "'Course you didn't brother."

"Gamzee are you ok?" You ask, worried.

"Yeah no I'm fine, I just," He sneaks a couple more pills into his mouth, "I just need to motherfuckin calm down. M'heads all up 'nd crazy right now."

"O-Okay." You decide to pat his shoulder as a gesture of comfort, for whatever his problem is. He flinches at contact and looks at you. Then his casual smile returns and you're relieved. "H-Hey, I know you're supposed to be watching me but if you, uh, if you have any problems, you better let me know. I'm here for you too." Gamzee sits up and chuckles.

"Tavbro, you're the coolest friend a mother fucker can have."

"Wait, what?" you say shocked, "Y-you think we're friends?" Gamzee waves his finger in the air.

"BEST friends, you mean." You can feel your whole entire face light up. Just when you thought this was going to be the worst day of your life, you've managed to make a new friend!

"Oh wow! That, that's great!" you voiced, happily. Gamzee snickered.

oH GOSH, mAYBE THIS bANDANA REALLY DOES WORK, You think stupidly.

He grabs your shoulder that's farthest from him and pulls you in for a brief hug. Blood rushes to your face because his touch feels a little... different from everyone else. It makes your heart race, and when he lets go, you feel a little disappointed. Biting your smile, you try to not show it.

A little less than 10 minutes before the end of class, Gamzee told the teacher he needed to escort you to the next classroom before the hallways are too crowded. Mr. Egbert let us go without another thought because he was so focused on his favorite movie. You both say bye to Sol & Karkat. Gamzee ruffles Karkats hair and Kar freaks out, threatening murder on to him. You both laugh then leave.

"Wait. Gamzee," you say, "We don't even need this much time.."

"I know, but I have this..._ thing_ I gotta do real fast." His voice rambled, bringing your wheelchair over by the restroom. After parking you close by, Gamzee then tugged over his backpack and emptied onto the counter what seemed to be... Halloween Makeup?

"Uh, what exactly is that for?" Gamzee shrugs, smile gone.

"Just... something to cover me up. Don't feel very comfortable without it." His hands clenched around a small jar of a white face paint. He proceeds to apply a thick layer of white all around his face with his fingers. He then opens up a second container and his fingers swipe at the pale deep purple inside. Very carefully, he spreads it around his eyes, covering his eyelids and underneath. Another swob at the make up. He paints a smile across his lips, stares at his face, then smiles in satisfaction and turns around to present himself to you. He smiles proudly,

"Good as new! What do you think?" The white so bright and out of place in comparison to how dark everything he had. It was clear to you Gamzee was hiding something from you. 'Not Comfortable' didn't sound like the whole story. But you decide not to pry, and play along.

"Y-You look great." you try to say.

"_Fan_-motherfuckin'-_tastic_!" He exclaims. He packs up his clown kit and continues to push you down the hallway. You wish you knew more about Gamzee. Something told you he had some dark secrets. If you just knew what those were, you might be able to help him and it bugs you that you can't do much.

You just, for some reason, want to be close with him.


	2. ch2: iN THE aFTERNOON

_****SL**: Hey guys, thanks for the support on the story! I love reading your reviews, they're all very helpful. Sorry if the way I'm handling/setting up my story is a little weird. This is my first fan-fic so cut me some slack XD I hope you continue to read my story._

* * *

The morning classes shuffled along better than you thought they would. Your typical boring classes become more livelier with Gamzee around. His obscene jokes and reactions to things make you happier than usual. You can't remember the last time actually had this much fun. During lunch, your odd friend helps you pick out some of the awful excuse of lunch and he grabs a disgusting uncrustables PB & J. Gamzee pushes you into the hallways, making his way and rolling you along to the usual hangout spot where your friends chill during lunch. Just when you couldn't get happier, you hear a wicked laughter behind you.

oH gOD, PLEASE NO, nOT NOW,,,

Both you and Gamzee turn around to see an uncontrollabley laughing girl. Her back was arched backwards allowing her long, black, scene styled hair to fall. She clenched her stomach that was covered with a gray button up shirt.

"Gamzee, let's just go." You mutter in fear.

"Right bro." Before Gamzee could push on, the girl suddenly runs in front of your wheelchair,

and Jesus Christ,

she has a camera out.

"Oh my _God_ this is the best day of _my life_!" She cries out, holding the camera up to her freaky styled glasses. A nasty blue lipped smile is stretched across her face. Your forehead crumpled up to a scowl.

"L-Leave me alone, Vriska!"

"_Pfft_, like_ hell!_ I**_ gotta_ **get as many picture of this as I can!" An unexpected flashes blind you. She begins to laugh again,

"O'_Hoooo_ my **GOD** this is _wonderful_! _Look at you_! You are so **pathetic**! D'aaww poor baby Tavy can't walk _nooo mooore_! HA HA!" her voice cackled.

Your eyes begin to water and you feel your nose expand and crinkle. Throat choking up you don't have the ability to defend yourself anymore, and you let your emotions take over.

oH gOD, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS,  
i JUST THOUGHT, fOR ONE DAY, i WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HER BULLSHIT,,,

Gamzee then realises the tears that are streaming down your face.

"Oh! Oh!_ Wait!_" She moves in closer, then smashes your lunch into your torso, splattering a bit on your face and leaving a sloppy mess of macaroni and milk dripping off your wheelchair. It was slowly soaking into your clothes, creating a disgusting stain. You bite your quivering lip.

You break down completely.

Vriska laughs harder.

Gamzee lost it.

"HEY!" Gamzee growls, "Why don't you move out of the** motherfucking** way and leave him alone!"

"And who are you? His prince charming? Quit trying to be the hero, sweetheart." She continues to take pictures. The flash is unbearable. Gamzee then stands in front of the horrid girl, fists clenched.

"Hey, move out of the way, you're in my sh-" Before she can finish, Gamzee grabs her collar and lifts her off the ground. She screams, beginning to squirm, frightened. Your tears stop at the sound of her shriek.

"Hey! _Stoppit_! No! Put me_ down_!" Gamzee pulls her close and she shuts up immediately. With a wild look in his eyes, he snarled at her,

"You ever mess with Tavros ever again, I WILL _BREAK_ EVERY MOTHER _**FUCKING**_ BONE IN YOUR MOTHER _**FUCKING** _BODY." She couldn't help but whimper in response. He dropped her immediately and was able to grab the camera out of her hand. He threw it on the ground and crushed it with a single stomp. She flinched at the noise and sat there, face completely shocked with fear. Gamzee jabbed his finger in the air, pointing at her.

"Let that be a mother fucking warning to you. C'mon Tav, let's go." Gamzee quickly went behind you and pushed your wheelchair around the frightened girl.

"G-G-Gamzee! Oh my_ god_!" You finally shake out of your mouth, "What the hell were you_ thinking_? You could get **suspended** for something like that!"

"Does it look like I motherfucking** CARE**? I just couldn't sit there and let her make you **CRY**! Chicks like her piss me off!" He shouted, " I told you I would take care of you, and I'll never let anyone treat like that ever again! If anyone,_** ANYONE**_, _especially her_, ever MOTHERFUCKING_** PICKS**_ on you again, you MOTHERFUCKING speak _**UP**_ to me!" He then stops at the west wing door that leads outside. His growl lowered and his breathing became calmer. He collected himself, shoved a good lot of pain killer into his mouth, and sighed heavily.

"Look, I'm- I'm sorry. I just... I just can't_ stand_.." pinching between his eyebrows, he couldn't think of what to say. Your heartbeat was out of control, practically on the brink of bursting with every pulse.

"Gamzee," you whisper, "Can... Can you just stand right next to me for a second?"

"Um, s-sure." He does as he's told.

"Lean down." You say. And without another word you wrap your arms around him, crying again. "Thank you," you choke, "N-No... No one has ever stood up for me like that. I'm so-," your throat began to tighten up, "I'm so thankful. You have no clue what this means to me, Gamzee." The person in question is completely stunned by the gesture. But without a thought, he automatically hugs you back tightly. After a brief embrace he lets go and looks at you. He stands up, hands on your shoulders, and says,

"Here, sit tight bro, I'll be right back." Gamzee hurries off, and returns moments later with a handful of napkins. He gives some to you.

"You're a motherfucking mess bro. Can't believe that witch did this to you." He carefully wipes your face. Then, he just stops. Your eyes meet and hold each other for a moment. Your face feels completely flustered and is probably a bright red right now.

"Is," your voice rattles, "Is there something wrong?"

"Naw man its just," Gamzee pauses and cocks his head staring at you, "Something about you, ya know? Can't help but stare is all." Gamzee then realizes how you probably feel really uncomfortable right now.

"O-Oh! Oh damn, sorry bro!" Gamzee then looks away at the wall.

"No no! There's-, there's no need to apologize! I, uh, I wasn't complaining. I was just, uh, wondering." You stutter, embarrassed.

"Um, anyways.." Gamzee silently wipes the rest the macaroni from your face and tries his best with your clothes. You assist him.

"I don't think your shirt was able to make it, really."

"Yeeah," You agree, " That's ok. I'll just have to, uh, deal with it. I guess I'm use to it, haha" chuckling nervously, Gamzee made a 'Hmm' noise. He then snapped his fingers with a smile. You watch him empty out his pockets of a bag of pills and another bag of marijuana, quickly shoving them into his pajama pants pocket. He proceeds to unzip his coat and then hands it to you.

"Wait, y-you don't have to-"

"Not another word, bro. You wear that jacket to cover up them stains. Sorry if it smells a little funky but it'll do for now. Just give it back to me tomorrow."

"... Tomorrow is Saturday."

"..." Gamzee then laughs, "Pfft, of course it is. Tav, you sure are ahead of the game! Just give it to me Monday, or whenever."

"Well... Ok...You sure about that?"

"Yeah man." Gamzee smiles with his hands in his pockets.

"O-Okay..." You slip on the jacket, pull out your bandana, and zip it up.

"It's a little baggy."

"Mmm." He hummed.

"Can't do much about that Tavbro. But don't worry 'bout that. Bein' honest here, baggy looks good on ya. Kinda.. Kinda _cute_, actually." Gamzee laughs,

"C-Cute." You repeat, confused at his choice of words. "Anyway uh, we should probably go outside. I bet Karakt and them are waiting for us.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Gamzee eats a couple more pills and then he gets behind you to head on outside.

"Dude where the hell have you fucking been? Lunch started 10 minutes ago! Terezi just went out to look for you, as stupid and ironic that sounds." Karkat yells at you.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I- I lost track of time." You lie. Before you sits a group of people who you consider pretty close friends. And right when you were about to say something, Nepeta pounces on you with a big hug, tears running down her face.

"Oh my god it _**IS**_ true! Sollux and Karkat weren't lying!"

"whyintheworldwouldwebelying?..." Sollux mumbles.

"I can't believe this I'm so sorry!" she balls. You can feel her tears soak through the jacket and onto your shoulder. You pat her short, messy hazel hair to calm her down. When she pulls away you wipe her tears and adjust her kitty hat,

"Oh come on, Nepeta don't make such a big deal. I'm fine, see! I'll just be a little, uh, well, shorter from now on." You chuckle, attempting to find some humorous bright side to you disabilities.

She sniffles hard, "M'oh... Okay then." Her voice quivers. You give your best friend a big hug, and let her tiny body return to a muscular Italian guy named Equius. She snuggles up with him, and beads of sweat appear on his forehead. He pats her gently on the shoulder, a little nervous about everything he does. He clears his throat and turns to you,

"I'm very sorry to see your current condition. Are you feeling well?" His low shaky voice says.

"I'm feeling... _okay_ I guess. I'll get use to it." Equius nods in response. He attends to his whimpering girlfriend. You smile to see they're together. Suddenly Gamzee picks you up out of your chair.

"Hey wait I-!" You panic, but Gamzee continues what he was doing and gently plops you on the grass. He sits right next to you, splits his sandwich, and pushes it in front of you. You look at him, feeling a hint of blush rising on your face. You grab the sandwich and mutter a 'thank you'. His smile is lazy then he begins on to eat. You take a bite of the bread sack oozing jelly and peanut butter. It was actually satisfying. Then you hear the door slam open.

"Guys I couldn't find him!" Calls out a short haired ginger girl with cheesy red shaded glasses and a long cane. Seeing Terezi's awkwardness makes you happy.

You giggle, "Terezi I'm right here!" you shout out.

"Oooooh!" She snickers. A nice, black painted grin was spread across her face. She made her way over poking the ground with her cane, which smacks into your chair, and she froze. Her face twists to the side, confused. She reaches over to feel what she bumped into, and realizes what it is.

"Guuys," she calls, "Whose chair is this?"

"That's uh, that's mine." You say hesitantly.

"Oh my," she gasps, "Oh my god. I'm so sorry to hear that! Is that why you were gone all this week?"

"Y-yeahh." You mutter out.

She makes a concerned noise then says slightly happy,

"Well at least you're ok. Glad you're here and all."

She walks over to pat your fluff of a mohawk then sits next to Karkat. Karkat is always a little jumpy around Terezi since he's liked her for a few years now. You find it adorable that his defenses are lowered around her and he tends to be totally flustered. Another warm smile is given at the sight, and for some reason, you felt utterly happy. Just for that moment. You place your hand down to lean on the grass until you unexpectedly come in contact with Gamzee's hand instead. You both flinch and pull your hands away, staring at eachother.

"Oh." You stutter, " Oh god, I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to- to you know, I just-!"

"Whoa, slow down there, brother. Ain't a thing to be sorry about. Just a little bad coordination." He chuckles softly.

"O-Okay.." You say.

The rest of the afternoon was a blurr with Gamzee by your side. So many good memories were made and you and him couldn't stop laughing at the dumbest things. You love laughing with him. You love... his laughing. The thought lingers in your mind.

The end of the day was actually... depressing. You didn't really want to say goodbye to your close friend. But, you had to. He was at least nice enough to wait until your mother arrived to pick you up. You both were sitting at the front of the building when your mother pulled up and beeped her horn. You sigh heavily.

"Whussa matter Tavbro?"

"Erm, well, I-I kinda don't wanna go home, right uh, right now." Gamzee stared at you for a moment, then smiled. He wheeled you over to your car.

"Hey," he said. You looked up and saw his comforting smile. He lifted his finger and poked your nose followed by,

"Honk."

You chuckle warmly.

He helped you into your car and before that you were off. Your faint smile faded into a bit of an empty frown.

Your mother attempts to talk to you but you can respond so much. Your mind is clouded with thoughts of your day, both happy and painful. Your ear perks a bit when you hear your mom says 'I' & 'night shift.' but after that, you stop listening. As you arrive to your home, you mother gets you inside and then kissed you goodbye.

The door shuts hard in your face, and the emptiness of the house is close to how you feel inside. You roll about and try to distract yourself. Struggling to prepare a sandwich for yourself, you blast music from your stereo with your favorite song.

"Hmmhmm... S'Kiss me agaain... 'Cause only you can stop the stu-stu-stu-stu-stutterinn..." you sing. Although Ben's Brother is a shitty band that isn't famous one bit, you can't help but always love this one song. Especially since you relate so much.

After setting yourself up with a adequately prepared sandwich, you plug yourself into your laptop, aimlessly looking at dumb things that entertain you. It keeps you going for a few hours, but after getting into the miserable part of the internet, you just push your face into your hands and sob. You're not exactly sure why, but it feels right to be crying this hard, feeling your heart break with every tear.

Sniffling, you push yourself away from your laptop and go to the bathroom. You lean into the body mirror that was behind the bathroom door. You continue to rub your puffed up mocha colored eyes. Although you're Latino, your very light brown complexion could fool anyone to think you're full fledged american. You play with your copper colored hair for a moment. A small sigh squeezed out from your throat and you wiped your face roughly with your hand. Gazing at yourself, you realize that that you still have Gamzee's jacket on that you totally forgot about.

_"Sorry if it smells a little funky but it'll do for now. Just give it back to me tomorrow."  
__"... Tomorrow is Saturday."  
__"...Pfft, of course it is. Tav, you sure are ahead of the game!"_

You laugh a little, remembering the conversation. You then bring one of the sleeves up to you nose, and good**_ Lord_**, was he right about it smelling weird. It was poor hygiene, dirt, and drugs, all embedded into one piece of clothing.

...still...

This_ is_ his smell. You pull the entire jacket over you head, breathing his scent in. It... It smelt nothing less than the word** home**. Face becoming warm, you coult feel yourself blushing as you sink into your chair. Depression was heavy on your shoulder.

wHAT AM i DOING,,,

The weekend was oddly miserable. At the same time you couldn't get Gamzee out of your head. And you felt something inside of you saying the two is connected. Thoughts bounced around your head, weird thoughts, such as

wHY DOES HE STARE AT ME LIKE THAT SOMETIMES,,,  
i JUST DON'T GET IT,,,  
wHY CAN'T i GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD?  
i MISS gAMZEE BUT THERE'S NO REASON i SHOULD,,  
mAYBE i'M OVER REACTING,,  
bUT IF THAT'S THE CASE, WHY CAN'T i JUS STOP?

The whole damn weekend, those words kept rotating and rotating through your mind like an endless cycle. And when the cycle is over, you always conclude,

dAMMIT,  
tHIS WHOLE THING IS JUST FUCKING WITH ME,  
wHAT IS IT ABOUT gAMZEE i CAN'T GET MY MIND OFF?

And the thoughts begin again.


	3. ch3: wAIT, wHAT: NSFW

**WARNING: **THIS CHAPTER IS **_NSFW_**

After the endeavoring weekend of pain & depression, you feel slightly motivated to return back to school. The first thing you did this morning was get dressed and make sure you were wearing Gamzee's coat. That way, you won't forget, because sometimes you know you forget things like this.

The warm but chilly morning was refreshing as your mother insisted on dropping you off still. She pulls up to the front of the school, quick goodbye kiss and she's off. Pushing yourself towards the entrance of the school, you spot Terezi hanging about by herself. You roll up to her.

"H-Hey there Terezi." You say pleasantly.

"Tavros! I _knew_ that was you I heard! Hee hee." her voice giggled.

"Heh. Why are you, _uh_, waiting out here?"

"Oh, just waiting for Aradia. We always hang out in the morning." Her grin mouthed.

"O-Oh. Um. Say, do you know where Gamzee is?"

"Mmm, what time is it?"

"Uhh...About 7:15."

"_Ohh_, well he should be in the Cafeteria or commons. Why do you ask?"

"Uh, well, I uh... Oh! I have his jacket. And I was going to give it back. To_ him_, that is.."

"Right right right! I _thought_ you smelt like stoner. Anyway..._ Yeeaah_, cafeteria or commons, either place, he'll probably be hanging around there juggling or whatever."

"Uh, ok then. Thanks." She nods in response, "Oh, uhh, hey Terezi? Do you think you can hold this door open for me? The handicap button isn't working..."

"Sure!" After a moment or two of trying to feel where the handle is, she swings the door open for you, and you proceed inside, giving her a thank you to signal that she can let go now.

The first place you check is the commons and you luckily find him there, sitting down juggling just like Terezi said. He was also listening to music. You roll in front of him.

"Uh, Gamzee?" No response. You try again louder, and waving your hands. You then get his attention. He stops his juggling and smiles. He holds up one of his fingers, mouthing the words, 'One second.' He stands up and begins to tap his foot to a beat you can't hear. Then, with his three hacky sacks, he juggles a certain pace, following some sort of rhythm. Slow, Slow, fast, then slow again... He occasionally juggles behind his back to make it look a little snazzy. You smile at his talent and he continues to entertain you for another minute. He then finishes by throwing all three balls in the air, and catching them in one hand, whispering a 'Ta-Da!' You laugh and applaud at the performance. You never realised how big his hands were. He tugs the headphones out of his ears.

"Hey there, Tavbro. What's crack-a-lackin'?"

"Uhh, heh, not much."

It was clear that he just had a fair amount of weed, or whatever, since his eyes were tainted red. You were kind of amazed that he was able to juggle.

"Uhm, oh yeah, before I forget, here's your jacket." You say, fumbling to get the zipper undone. Once it's all off, you then hand the jacket to your friend who gives a small thumbs up as a thank you, then he slips it on.

"_**Whoa,**_" He marveled, smelling the jacket, "My jacket s'all _soft_! Not to mention it smells_ amazing!_ Are- _Are you a **wizard**_ or something?" He asks, eyes widened at you.

You laugh, and shake your head, "No, my mom just uh, she _washed_ it because she said it smelled funny. I couldn't say no because then she'd be suspicious."

"Then _your mom_ must be a wizard coz this jacket is full of magical smells!" He says fascinated while continuously smelling the jacket. You laugh, unsure if he's just trying to be funny or is really high.

You guess he's just really high.

He then zips his jacket half way up, satisfied. It was practically the same thing he wore friday except he now has faded navy blue jeans on this time. And that were fairly loose on him. They looked good on him.

Really good.

Oh god is that his ass?

**...**

_Holy shit_, what are you doing?** Stop that.**

You immediately avert your eyes, you sicko.

The rest of Open Hour (This is just basically an entire hour dedicated for students to do any homework or visit a teacher.) was spent watching Gamzee juggle and hanging out with your buddies. When the first hour bell rings, you give your friends a farewell wave, except for Sollux, who joins Gamzee and you walking over to math class.

"Tho Tav... I heard what happened with Vrithka. Ya know,** latht friday**." Sollux slurred.

"Oh," you say, "Uh, yeah. What about it?"

"Gotta thay, it wuth weird to hear from THE Vrithka that she wuth totally thcared out of her mind!"

"When did she say_ that_?"

"Right after lunch. She looked thick and wuth all shakey, it wath kinda hilariouth." He cackled. "_Yeeah,_ I don't think she'll be coming to thkool today."

You have to admit that you kind of feel a little bad for bullying Vriska like that, even though it wasn't you who did it, nor was it your fault. You try hard not to think about it.

"... And that is why you are taking math, but really all you care 'bout is the_ cash!_" math teacher Dave Strider raps, ending it. "Does that answer your question?"

"Know what, I don't even care anymore." Says the confused, frustrated kid. A few in the class laugh.

"Mr. Strider?" shouts a loud girl in class, "You rap all the time, why aren't you teaching music?"

He shrugs, "'Cause being a math teacher is ironic. And irony is my thing. _Speaking_ of math, I got you guys these worksheets or _something._ They're like, in _packets_ so you have all class period to finish it." He announces, as he hands out the packets around the class.

"And if we don't?" asks a kid from across the room.

"If you don't you have to do it for homework."

"_Pfft_ yeah I ain't gonna finish this..."

"_AND_," interjects Mr. Strider, "and _RAP_ your answers to the entire class." The class moans, annoyed. "Thass right. Now hurry up and finish it."

Gamzee laughs, "Man, what's this brothers deal? He's all throwin sick rhymes & makin us rap. S'like, some sorta musical dictator or somethin' like that."

"You didn't have Thtrider for math latht year? _God_ he ith thuch a pain. One time I had to correct him cuth he methhed up on one of hith problemth. Exthepit he made it a full fledged rap battle between me and him thince he wouldn't lithen to me unleth I threw thum '_schick rhymethz_'." Sollux complained.

"Oh God, I remember that." You laugh, putting your palm to your face. "At least you were right."

"Hell _yeah_ I wathz right!" He said, crossing his arms. Everyonein the group laughed and with that, the conversation ended. None of you wanted to rap with Mr. Strider.

There was a long silence between the two of you as you worked while Gamzee was way too fascinated by his pencil to even write anything.

"Hey, wait, Gamthzee." Sollux said, looking up at Gamzee.

"Yeah brother?" His voice grinded as he fondled the pencil happily.

"Ithinnt your dad coming home thith _weekend_?" Gamzee's smile faded and he put the pencil on his desk, unsatisfyingly rolling it around.

"Yeah," He mumbled.

"Are you going to be okay?"

He took a moment to piece together the words while also putting the pencil between his nose and lips. "If shit goes down, shit'll go down. I'll just deal with it like always." You desperately wanted to ask what they were talking about, but you knew it was none of your business.

"Okay dude. But theriouthly. If thomething goes wrong, you go to KK'thz houthe- er whatever."

"Gotcha." His smile came back and he continued examining the pencil.

Pushing your lips together, you continued with your work. It was clear to you that Gamzee, Sollux, and Karkat were all good friends. And it was also clear that they knew so much more than you did about him. This made you a little jealous. In fact, no, this made you really jealous. By this point you were craving for some information on the calm stoner. But you can't do much about that right now. You push aside the thought for you to think about later.

Math class goes by and English was another work day. You tried to actually be serious about writing this time and not get distracted by your spacey companion. You were half listening to his rant about music and how it sounds when he's high. You chuckle about a few of his comments but you still focus on your writing. That is, until you hear a loud crunch. Looking over you see Gamzee popping in a few pills that looked a little different than his other painkillers.

"What are uh, those?" You ask hesitantly.

"These? These things are little motherfuckin' bite-sized miracles. They're called_ lortab_." He says the last bit quietly.

"What's that."

"Kinda like the normal stuff I take 'cept the effect is motherfucking **awesome.** But I try and not eat 'em as often. S'like, _special occasion_ kinda shit."

"Y-yeah? What's the occasion."

"Spendin' a whole day with my best motherfuckin friend!" He says with a big smile. You give a small flustered grin as your blood rushed to your cheeks.

"O-Oh." You can't tell if he made that up just so he could take his drugs, or if he really meant it. Actually, you **_doubt_** he actually meant it. Gamzee then continued his talk but you can slowly hear his voice slurr, and sometimes stop while he spaced out looking around. Clearly, the effects were taking place strongly.

"H-hey, hey_ Karkat_," said Gamzee, touching Karakt's deep black hair.

"What could you ever possibly need from me, you stoned little asshole." Karkat groaned.

"Your," he snickered, "Your hairs like, motherfucking**_ talkin_** to me man!"

"_Oh Jesus** Christ**_." quietly whines Karkat.

"It says... Says," Gamzee laughs again, "Man this motherfuckers a _secret agent_! _Don't_- Don't _tell_ anyone though! Or he'll like, _fuck you** up**_**.**" Gamzee bursts into a laughter. Sollux and yourself begin to laugh at how messed up Gamzee is. Karkat then becomes frustrated and swings his arms at Gamzee hands, trying to shoo them out of his hair. But before the end of class, Gamzee calmed down a little.

The next class you and Gamzee had was Home Economics, and Gamzee seemed oddly eccentric about this class. You both enter the wide room with a perimeter of ovens, stoves, counters, fridges and sinks. All appliances were bunched together in individual kitchens. Gamzee rolls you over to your groups kitchen unit. Speaking of the group here comes the rest of it. Along with the other kids filling the room, the recognizable faces of Kanaya & Terezi were in the crowd. Both the girls walked over, well Terezi more so fumbled, towards your direction.

"Mornin' my Wicked Sisters." Gamzee happily greets.

"Hey Terezi, hi Kanaya." You say, Terezi waves back happily in response.

"I bid you both a good morning." Kanaya says. You've always been impressed with how eloquent and level-headed Kanaya is. Although, she does get pretty weird sometimes. Nonetheless you still admire her. Especially her flawless appearance. Her african-american complexion was always clean without any sort of fault in sight. She was very fashionable, but in a sense that promoted her nationality in a way that wasn't out of line, but more like a new trend.

After the instructions from the ironically assigned Home Ec. teacher, Ms. Crocker, everyone began to do their baking. You expected Kanaya and yourself to do most of the work but surprisingly, Gamzee was the one who was leading all three of you. He gave instructions and sometimes went astray from the given recipe and surprisingly, for the better. Somehow you can tell Gamzee did a lot of baking. Aside from himself, that is. Quicker than any other Kitchen, your group was able to finish creating the pie and its caramelized, sugar bathed apple filling.

"_Gosh_ Gamzee," Terezi says while whiffing the bowl full of filling, "is there anything you_ can't_ do in the kitchen?"

"I dunno sister." Gamzee shrugs adding a few more sprinkles of sugar, "I don't think I can_ bathe_ in a Kitchen. That just don't seem right." You laugh at the remark. Sometimes it was hilarious how literal Gamzee takes things, even if he was high. Gamzee looks at you with a smile and brings the bowl of goodies in front of you.

"Go ahead," he gestures, "grab an apple slice and tell me if I did this right." You look at Gamzee who gives you a nod of approval. You proceed to grab a slice and toss it into your mouth.

"Mmm!" You grin, "Wow Gamzee this is delicious!"

"W'thanks brother." He smiles, happy he was able to satisfy you. "Too bad ya'll won't be able to eat this though."

"Oh God_ dammit_ Gamzee." Kanaya says, frustratingly face palming.

"What? I gotta add my secret ingredient!" Gamzee's growly voice said excitingly.

"Hey Terezi," you whisper to your friend, "What is he talking about?"

"He likes to make some sort of weed to his pie or whatever. He likes to call it sopor pie or something. I don't even know where he _comes up_ with this kind of stuff." Terezi responds.

"Oh," you mumble, slightly disappointed. It's becoming very apparent to you how much drugs Gamzee uses. It's honestly starting to freak you out a little. You watch the happy teenager add what he needs, closes up the pie, and slips it into the pre-heated oven. The pie came out looking beautifully baked, but you didn't want anything to do with it. Neither did the rest of your team mates. Gamzee shrugged and kept the rest for himself.

Home Ec was over right when Gamzee was wrapping up his special pie.

Lunch seemed to roll around faster than you imagined. During the time Gamzee set you up with your meal and pulled you over to the usual hang out spot, you kept an eye out for Vriska. You became a little concerned when you don't see her at all. You tried to not think too much about it. Now outside, the wheels of your chair grazed through the grass while you were greeted by all your friends. Gamzee then picks you up and sets you down by Sollux. You suddenly realize he hasn't said much until he tells you,

"I'm gonna go eat lunch separately this time." These words surprised you bit, and kind of hurt too. He was clearly referring to eating the pie by himself. "Don't know when I'll be back but I know you have next few classes on the main floor with Sollux & Nepeta. So if I'm not back by lunch, don't worry." His grin was comforting but his words weren't. They left you feeling a bit empty. But you knew it'd be weird if you asked him to stay instead.

"Oh... A-Alright then," you half-heartedly agree. He pats you on the back and he leaves. You sigh but decide to shove your feelings aside. Instead of moping you begin to eat and talk to Sollux. The subjects were video games, then class, then homework.

"He got an _A_ on hith extham." Sollux says suddenly.

You know exactly where this conversation is going, and who he is talking about, "Eridan?"

"Yeah," he breathes with a grin on, "Jeethz, ith there anything he _can't_ do? Uschually I_ alwayth_ beat him in gradethz, or thtuff like that. I _am_ thamrter than him, of courth... Then _again_," he sighs, "he hath hith momenths when he beatths me. It'th imprethiv really. The fact that that backwardth, egotithtical loother ith able to get a better thcore than me." Sollux makes a slightly displeased face. There's a pause. You look at Sollux as he stares out into space.

"You still love him, _don't you_." the words you say strike him. His silence was an obvious yes.

"He'th trying to the clath Prethident thith year. What a dumb aath. Who would want him to be in charge of the thkool anyway?" The statement was a bitter sweet. "He thtill liketh Fefari. I think. Talkth about her a lot. Like thum Godeth or thumthing. Kinda annoying to lithin." Silent, you're unsure what to tell your friend. Sollux is one to always give you these indirect responses about these things. He says something, but you know what he really means. You simply pat his back. You're aware of Sollux and his shy feelings for Eridan Ampura. They have a weird love-hate relationship between them, Eridan hates Sollux mostly, tries everything to outsmart him. Sollux knows Eridan has no interest in him and it kills him inside, and yet he still taunts himself with his own emotions. Thinking that maybe someday he'll get a nibble of some sort of importance to Eridan. It's a mystery why people in love always end up hurting themselves...

Gamzee never came back by the end of lunch, but you decided to be patient. But no, the rest of the day you didn't see him after lunch. Also, it seemed as though Vriska was missing from Science, your last class hour. Guilt and loneliness were going to be your companions for this evening and you know darn well they're not leaving until they're satisfied. Mom picks you up from school.

"Where's your friend Tavros?" she asks,

"He uh," you conjure up a lie, "He had to stay after school to help out a teacher."

"Oh, I see. Well- either way let me help you get in." After the struggle to get you into her white Audi, we go straight home. Silence is all there was in the car. The evening went normally. You helped your mom out in the kitchen even though she assured you she was able to do it herself. Dinner was normal. Everything was normal.

"Would you want to... visit you dad?"

"Would it even matter?"

"No... No I suppose not."

oH, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY dAD YOU ASK?

wAS HE KILLED?

dID HE DISAPPEAR?

wAS MY MOTHER ACTUALLY RAPED, aND i'M A BASTARD CHILD?

jESUS cHRIST NO,

wE'RE A NORMAL FAMILY NOT SOME DRAMA SHOW FOR gOD SAKES.

tHERE WAS A DIVORCE, dAD GAVE ALL CUSTODY TO MY mOM AND HE COULD CARELESS FOR ME SINCE HE'S WAY TOO BUSY WITH HIS OWN THINGS, enD OF STORY.

yEESH, i SWEAR YOU PEOPLE EXPECT TOO MUCH,

It was around 1 in the morning last you checked the clock in your bedroom, and you were stuck on your computer. Your mom was deep and fast asleep down the hall. You couldn't fall asleep, and besides, the internet offered some pretty interesting things you couldn't ignore. Aimlessly scrolling through a row of pictures, gifs, and text, something catches your eye. The only thing that does this would be, you guessed it, shameless smut.

Face red, you scroll down immediately. Well... You reconsider and decide to just take another look. lOOKING AT IT WON'T HURT,,, rIGHT?

You scroll up and stare at the black & white picture of a naked woman. She wore nothing but skin as her body was sprawled across the sheets of a bed. You stare for a moment. Ok ok, enough, you've had your fill. Well, maybe not, because now your head is filled with all sorts of disgusting thoughts.

Know what? Whatever, you'll just look up a few more images. You type in the four lettered word you could never say in public and hit search. Soon, you laptop screen is filled with all sorts of pictures of women, some guys involved. You facepalm for looking up something so stupid but you continue to look at the revealing images. Before you knew it you were on a internet hunt for some raunchy pictures and videos. Then, you found yourself on a website dedicated to videos of that category and you just click which everone sounds more erotic. Prior to the video playing, you proceed to put headphones in, and you're off. Your ears are practically overflowing with moans and panting and your eyes are filled with a female being pushed and pulled. You bite your lip as you feel something between your legs become awkwardly hot and push against your pants. You play another video.

Alright, you need to be honest with yourself. You can't take it anymore. Your fingers fumble to undo your pants button, slip beneath the band of your boxers and pull out your pulsing rod. You're incredibly embarrassed, but you have to do what you must. Eyes closed, your hand slowly begins to tug up and down at the skinned extension. Lustfully picking up the pace every second. As you listen to the pleasurable sobbing of the woman in the video, your fingers tighten around your shaft and moves faster. A soft moan slips from your mouth and amplifies your experience. you try to imagine the process of sex. Your fantasies are filled with beautiful girls and the thought of penetration, being inside of a woman as your grip her from her hips. With that thought, you gasp and move your palm faster. Your body can feel your meat throbbing and you indulge the feeling, and this signals that you'll be close soon. Thoughts being deeper you think of being able to tease a girl just with a gentle touch everywhere... Touch...

Suddenly, the thought of Gamzee's touch was in your mind. You want to stop your hand but... you can't. Then you began to invent a fantasy of Gamzee right on top of you pumping your dick, and you moan a little at the thought, squeezing yourself harder and moving swifter. How could you even think of Gamzee at a time like this? But you don't even dare to stop yourself. As your fantasies grow more intense, your breathing picks up, and more gasps and moans pour out your lips. Then, the thought of Gamzee being inside of you occurs. Thrusting his hips into your ass, God it made you groan louder and you realize you'll be finishing here soon. Your hands are yanking at your cock harder and faster as does the thought of Gamzee fucking your brains out. Your lungs pull in air quickly and your muscles tighten, and an amazing feeling is shot through your entire body.

"_Gamzee...!_" You shout, then drop to a whisper. A thick liquid spews out from your urethra, matching the pounding of your heart. The sperm slowly comes to a stop and leaves you breathless. The pulses of your appendage decrease satisfyingly and you soak in the feeling.

wAIT,  
**_wHAT?_**

You bring a hand to your mouth, shocked and ashamed.

oH gOD,

dID I JUST,,, DO WHAT i THINK i DID,,, TO gAMZEE! hOW COULD i,,,

The thought rattles you, leaving you stunned aware of what to do. More importantly... what does this exactly say about you?


	4. ch4: tHAT WAS WEIRD

You wake up another Friday morning with a bittersweet feeling. You've determined that Friday is your least favorite day of the week. The morning forces you to groan and run your fingers through your aisle of hair that runs right down the middle of your head. Trying to find a bright side of friday you guess there's only one thing you're kind of looking forward to. No mom this weekend, you have the whole house to yourself. She left a note on the fridge that read:

_Sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you, you know how early my flight was. Food money on the counter. A little extra to encourage you to go out and have some fun this weekend. Don't burn down the house, take care of yourself, I love you kiddo._

_-Mom_

You smile a bit. Mom wasn't the greatest mom in the world per se, but she did her job right. You look over to the counter and see A $50 bill that was attached with a sticky note that says food, and $30 dollars that was right next to it.

Thank god your house is conveniently a ranch home or else getting around would be hell.

You roll around the kitchen setting up some pop tarts for you while you get dressed. Getting dressed at first was difficult, but you think you got a hang of it. You wiggle your stubs into some loose pants and slip on a light gray t-shirt and a black button-up over that. You put on your leather gloves and roll back over to the kitchen. You're really proud of the gloves your mom got for you.

The past wednesday, Gamzee was relieved of his 'babysitting duties' so you were slightly nervous he might've wanted his old schedule back and he wouldn't talk to you anymore. But no. He was really content with his current schedule and still talked to you all the time. So that made you really happy that turned out alright. He still pushes you around sometimes out of old habit. You never tell him to stop. It's comforting to you, somehow.

You swung your backpack over your wheelchair, shove one pop tart into your mouth, and leave your house. Ever since you came back to school last friday, morning strolls, err._** Rolls.** _*sNICKERS* Are a lot nicer. You love the way the heat of the rising sun wraps around you along with the chilly crisp morning air. Everything has been so positive came back to school Tuesday, and that made you feel relieved. Although, she hasn't even dared to make any sort of contact with you since she got back. It's a good thing you guess, at least this means there won't be anymore bullying. Finally, you're safe and happy with your life. You arrive at the bus stop.

"Good morning Tav!" Says a voice from behind you. There stood a brunette haired boy with a shock of blonde in his hair. He wore chunky black hipster glasses that hid his violet eyes and stood proudly of himself.

"Oh, uh, g-good morning Eridan."

"How's it been," He nudges you with his elbow, "_rollin'_?" He bursts out into laughter. You roll your eyes and chuckle. How could you be upset? It was a pretty silly joke.

"Haha, f-fine." Eridan is your neighbor a few doors down. You two are well acquainted friends but not really close. But you always enjoyed your conversation.

"Guess what! I got the best grade in my honors class, again!" He announced proudly of himself.

"Oh! Uh, well, congratulations!" You act surprised even thought Sollux told you before.

"_Oh please,_ save your praise," He says smirking to himself, "just know you've got a genius in the neighborhood."

"Heh, alright then." The buses engine grew louder as it approached. You were loaded on and Eridan sat in front of you. He continued his talk of himself when the bus unexpectedly stopped.

"I'm so sorry!" Apologized a sweet voice. A fair skinned girl appeared on the bus with swimming goggles strapped to her head. She pushed back her river of copper hair that fell down to her waist, smiling brightly. She sat in the front row. Eridan ceased his yapping and stared at the girl.

"You still got a crush on Feferi?" You ask quietly.

Eridan nods. "Captain of the swim team and the best of her class. Can you believe that? She's amazing, and so sweet to everyone. Beautiful too. _**Beyond** _beautiful. I just wish I knew how to impress her. She's the only reason I try so hard in my classes." He was really dreamy about that girl.

"I really hope that uh, everything works out for you." Eridan looked back at you and smiled a bit.

"Thanks, Tav."

The bus ride was a cross of noisy and silent. As soon as you arrived at the school it was still Open Hour. You load off of the bus and see Terezi was up front in her usual spot talking with Aradia. You don't see Aradia much anymore. It's a shame because you two use to be really good friends. You wave at both of them and join the two girls and try not to seem too obvious of what you want to know.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothing much." Terezi responds. The indian girl slightly ignored you and looked around. Her dark curly hair was tied to the side of her shoulder. Her painted red lips were closed and her scarlet eyes had interest for other things rather than looking at you. A little hurt inside from the lost friend, you focus on what you really wanna say. You open your mouth to ask a question, but then Terezi swiped her fingers across your lips and snickered.

"Shush. He's in the lunchroom with Karkat." You laughed.

"Thanks Terezi."

"Gotcha covered, tee hee." Terezi says, opening the door for you. You roll inside and head over to the lunchroom as fast as you could.

wAIT,,, wHY WOULD i BE GOING THIS FAST JUST TO SEE gAMZEE?

You slow yourself down and go at a normal pace. Swerving your way through the crowds of people you enter the lunchroom. You see Sollux and Karkat talking to themselves and push yourself over to the two.

"Hey guys. Uh, where's Gamzee? Terezi said he was uh, in here with you."

"Does it look like**_ I_** care where that walking circus went? He can go jump off the highest_ god damned_ tower for all I care! He'll be the man known stupid enough to climb those egotistically giant things, then be even stupider to jump off it like it was motherfucking trampoline!" You were confused. Sollux sighed and looked at you through his 3D-like sunglasses.

"He rampaged off thomewhere. He wath pithhed off about thomething. Pluth it theemed like he hathent had a bowl of weed thith morning and he thed he wath out of hith lortab or whatever. And we all know how he can be without hith drugth."

"Oh no. Sollux, where did he go?"

"He jutht left. He went out that door, thath all I know, ok?"

You became worried. You've heard rumors about Gamzee being sober and you heard it was nasty.

"Thanks guys," You wheel yourself over to the door that Sollux pointed at. It lead outside and you looked around for Gamzee. Then your eye catches his familiar colors walking away from you.

"Gamzee!" You cry out. He continues to walk. You begin to push your wheels hard, "Gamzee, please, w-wait up!" After a few minutes of some serious cardio for you, you finally catch up with him.

"Gamzee are you okay?" You ask out of breath.

"Tavbro this _really ain't_ the motherfuckin time." He growls back.

"I-I just want to know if you're alright.." you stumble on your words, being careful with them.

"Well it ain't your motherfuckin business so_ piss off_."

"But Gamzee I-!"

"I SAID **PISS** THE HELL**_ OFF_ MOTHERFUCKER!**"

Your arms stop moving your wheelchair in an instant along with your heart beat. Gamzee realizes what he just did. He slaps his face and groans. Clearly he was really frustrated. He sits himself down on the damp grass, hands now holding his head. Hesitantly, you reach into your backpack for a plastic baggy. Tossing it at Gamzee, who catches it without even looking, he lifts his head to examine the bag. It was filled with painkillers and all sorts of lortab. He looks up at you shocked. Your eyes trail to the ground,

"I_ uh_, I always had an extra bag for you. You go through those things fast. And as uh, as much as I **hate** you doing drugs, they keep you happy. A-And that makes me happy too, I guess." Without another word from you, he opens up the bag and eats a good few of the pills. You sit there silently, hands locked. He takes a moment for himself to let the drugs take some sort of effect while he scratches the back of his head. He inhales, then exhales deeply and blankly stares in your general direction.

"I'm," Gamzee mutters, "I'm real sorry you had to see that Tavbro. It wasn't right I got mad at you."

"It's alright. You were just sober. I expected you to be uh, well, out of character. Are you ok now?"

"Feelin' better,_ that's_ a motherfuckin' fact." Gamzee's eye are set on you for a bit. Then a wide smile appears on his face, you smile back. It seems like he's back to 'normal'. He then stands up and walks over to you. Before you knew it, you were being lifted up in the air and you freak out a little.

"What will I ever do without this cute motherfucker?" Gamzee brings you close to his body, arms wrapped around you tightly. It was crazy how completely embarrassed you feel right now. You have no idea why you're so flushed. The feeling of his warmth around you was practically impossible to bare.

"Uhh, Gamzee? You_ sure_ you didn't smoke anything today?" Gamzee then pulled you out of his grip and stared at you just for a moment. Then he just bursted into laughter, and you decide to join him. Still laughing he sets you down on the grass and sits next to you. He finally regains composure,

"Tav, you are one hilarious motherfucker. You're the best friend I've had in a long time." he chuckles, wiping his tears into his face paint. You giggle and stared up at the bright morning sky. Then you feel a heavy weight push against your thigh (or at least, what you can feel of it). Your head snaps down and you see Gamzee's head in your lap. You feel a rush of blood fill your cheeks.

"G-Gamzee..?" You say in a panicked sort of tone.

"Damn Tavbro, your lap's _comfy_... Not even my pillow feels this motherfuckin' nice!" He says, nestling his head deeper into your thighs. You feel a shock go up your spine and your entire body is tense. The relaxed 18 year old closed his eyes with a small smile. Fingers locked on his chest, his breathing became slow and steady. Your heart allows your body to calm yourself. The rhythm of your heartbeats and breathing matches his.

A tiny grin grew on your lips. Without thought, you find your fingers brushing through his messy hair, fingernails barely scratching his scalp. Gamzee groaned in approval with a smile. His red tinted eye balls slowly reveal themselves to you as you continue to stroke his head. His deep imperial purple irises mesmerized you and stirred your feelings all up inside. Breathing heavy, heart racing, this all because he just looked at you. You find yourself leaning into his face, slowly and carefully, and he seemed to be doing the same thing. You were so close to him you could feel his breath break apart on your skin, and smell the remnants of pills.

wAIT,  
wHAT AM i DOING,

Your eyes widen and your head pulls as far back as it could from him. Your finger grasp your face and you try and contemplate what the hell you were just about to do. You peer between your fingers and see Gamzee lift his head from your lap and stretch his arms to the sky, totally unalarmed.

oH THANK GOODNESS,  
i REALLY HOPE HE DIDN'T SEE THAT, tHAT WOULD BE AWFUL.

You see him reach over to his backpack that he flung by your wheelchair and pull out a bottle filled with a bubbly grape colored liquid.

"Uhm, What's that?" You ask.

"This? _Why_, this wicked elixir here is called 'Faygo' and boy is it filled with miracles! It's the best. Now s'cuse me while I fill my mouth with all sorts'a delicious." He twists the cap of giant liter and the air released immediately. He brought the mouth of the bottle to his lips and chugged a good amount of it. He sighed after the long drink then looked at you. He shoved the bottle at you with his relaxed grin.

"Wanna have some?" He offers.

You're hesitant, "It's not uh,_ drugged_ or anything like that, right?" Gamzee laughs,

"Hell naw bro. Straight from the store, fresh off the motherfuckin' shelf." Your mouth pulls itself to the side of your face, but you grasp the heavy bottle. You take a small chug of the soda. Tastes like normal grape soda, you don't understand why Gamzee was making such a big deal about it. At the same time, Gamzee flopped his back into the grass with his arms spread out. He then adjusts them to be folded underneath his head. You recap the bottle, place it by Gamzee's bag, and joined him on the dew covered blades. There was a silence between you two for a second.

"Motherfuckin _sunrises_ man," grumbles a stoned Gamzee, "They're beautiful! Like- _Shit_ man, look at it, makin' everything all glowy. Havin' the clouds change colors. _S'amazing_."

"Y-yeah. Pretty uh, spectacular." You agree. After some observation, you've realized Gamzee loves the little things. Small stuff no one takes the time to appreciate. That's another quality you enjoy about him. In fact, there seems to be a lot of things you enjoy about him. Suddenly you realize you favor his company more than the kind of people you typically meet. You chew on the thought. _Wait_- this all sounds strange. It almost sounds as if you're-

"My pops," Gamzee interrupts your thoughts.

"What?"

"My old man, ya know._ He._" Gamzee grunts, trying to put his words together, "He's always away from home. Always going places for work, leavin' me in that lousy mansion all up 'nd alone. Never even bothers to try and be home. And if he is, doesn't even dare to spare a word to me. Sometimes he treats me like some God awful burden. _Ain't good for a growing boy_, I always think. When I was younger, I always knew that my situation wasn't right. Always thought, kids gotta have a parents."

"Mmm." you mumble, listening to his story.

"Use to have me a mom, or something. I remember my dad used to talk about her. But. It didn't seem like she made it out alive after I came along, know what I'm sayin?" He pauses, then continues his speech, "For as long as I remember, I_ never_ recall being important to my pops. The only thing important to him is his work and reputation. I've had to grow up by myself. Learn things the hard way. Sure, I think I'm alright. I got this life thing down pretty good. But... But every time he walks through that door, in or out, I ask myself,_ what exactly have I **missed**_? I wonder, if I had me the right kinda old man, _maybe_ I wouldn't be all fucked up in the head. And _maybe_, I might actually not need to be high all the motherfucking time. And maybe... _just **maybe**_**.**.. I could live a fairly normal life." His speaking stops, and there is a silence of cars and birds in the distant. You know you're not the master of encouraging words, but you have to do something.

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" You suggest.

"Pfft," he sputters, "I've tried that. Ignores me everytime, no matter how hard I try."

"I see... Well, make it very clear to him how important this is to you. You need to show him how, uh, how much this is messing with you. Bring up all these points to him. Tell him everything you have to offer about this issue. Plus, y-you need to remind him, no matter how much he ignores you, or how much he doesn't spend time around you, he's still YOUR DAD. And nothing in the world is going to break that fact. So, uh, take initiative. Tell him that everything you are and feel right now represents who he is. At least, the type of person he is based off the amount of effort he put into you. And uh, it's not very good for that reputation he holds close. This is your life, do what you need to get ahead. I-I dunno. I know this isn't exactly my business but, I just want to help you with your problems." You look over to Gamzee who's staring back at you amazed.

"Wow... Geez... Never thought of it _that_ way. Always just stuck with yelling at him and- and complaining and shit. But... I guess I should've spent more time organizing m'thoughts instead of bitchin' and moanin'. Thanks best friend. I think I'mma try that tonight. And yer right Tav. This is m'life. I gotta do what I gotta do." Another pause between you two.

You casually raise your hand that was closest to him. Gamzee looks at it, then back to the sky. He grabs your hand and both of you just lie there in the comforting hum of the world, holding one another, you try to show that you support Gamzee and give him your faith.

wOW, i'VE FINALLY GOTTEN TO KNOW gAMZEE BETTER,

i'M SO HAPPY NOW,

You think, satisfied with the concept.

"Hey bro." Gamzee grumbled, breaking the silence.

"Hm."

"You wanna hang this weekend or something?" Gamzee offers.

Your heart tenses up, "Uh, and do what?"

"W'like," he explains, "There's this like, music club I hang out at sometimes in downtown on Saturdays. 'Nd I was wondering if you'd like to be, like, my mother fuckin' date or something." He laughs when he says the word date, but it leaves your heart hurtling beats.

"Uhh," your voice rambles, "S-Sure! Yeah, that'd be great. To you know, hang out."

"Cool, bro! S'like, I'll come and pick you u-"

"Wait, are you going to be driving?" You say, realizing that Gamzee and driving is probably a very dangerous combination.

"Naw man, I don't drive. Ain't good at that kinda shit. I'll walk to your house or somethin', and we can take a bus there. S'not that far away and I'll pay for everything."

"No, I couldn't let you buy everything. Besides, I uh, I have money." You stutter, remembering that you have $30 dollars back at home.

"Mmm, well alright. How 'bout this? I'll pay for the bus and my own shit and you take care of your own stuff, like, food or whatever."

"Yeah, that sounds good. Wow, cool, our first time hanging out, outside of school!"

"Yeah bro, it'll be sweet." Both of you are excited by the plans. The rest of the Open Hour was spent outside talking about each other. Asking stuff like, favorite colors, favorite thing to do, favorite band, and so on & so forth. It was a great experience for you.

You begin to realize Gamzee is breaching the title of friend, and might be something... more. You're not quite sure what yet. But so far, it all feels right.

The morning classes went as expected. Gamzee being ridiculous, Karkat being frustrated and Sollux being sassy. However, Home Ec was a little weird because of something Kanaya said to you,

"I'm giving you a warning," she starts off saying in a firm tone, "What is about to happen is all real so don't think that she'll be messing around. Just give her a chance to talk to you. That's all she's ever wanted. She's just been so emotionally stressed about everything, and just can't do anything right anymore. I just hope both you and her will handle this well. Especially her."

"Who?" You ask, confused by everything the girl said.

"You'll see soon enough. Just be careful Tavros." She says, right as the bell goes off, starting the class. She then walks off to a table to sit down with her friends.

"_That_ was weird," You say to yourself, and Gamzee over hears you.

"What?"

"Just... Kanaya. I'll tell you later."

You wanted to ask Kanaya more but, today Ms. Crocker was giving a tutorial as how to bake... something. Meaning the whole class she'll be talking and there won't be any chance to be social. You can't really focus to be honest. You head is just cycling all the people Kanaya could possibly be talking about. In fact, you think so much that it's the end of class before you can even figure it out.

Well. It can't be anything too dramatic.

_Right?_


	5. ch5: wOUNDS

It's already lunch and you still can't figure out who the hell Kanaya could be talking about.

wELL i DON'T THINK THERE ARE ANY GIRLS WHO WOULD DO THIS.  
nOT nEPETA, OR tEREZI,,,, dEFINITELY NOT aRADIA,,,  
uHG, tHIS IS REALLY BUGGING ME

Well, no need to stress yourself out. You and Gamzee make your way down to the main level, taking the elevator, and grabbing more horrid food from the cafeteria. At the same time you explan to Gamzee what Kanaya told you.

"...And I-I don't know who she could be talking about!" You look at him, "Who do you think it is?"

His mouth stretches a little. He then gave a slightly disgusted face.

"What?" You ask.

"Well," he states, "I have a guess... buut, I'm not sure. Maybe, maybe not. Let's just not worry about it for now."

"Well, ok." You respond, slightly confused.

When you two were walking down over to the West Wing door, Vriska stops you. Your heart is frozen.

"Vr-Vris..." You can barely utter out another word. You're too scared of what she might do this time. Or what Gamzee might do.

"I_** knew **_it." Growled the voice behind you,"What do_ you_ want?"

"No, it's not like that. I need... I need to talk to Tavros." Vriska said, expecting an answer. Gamzee just raises his eyebrow.

"**_Alone_**." Vriska states, Gamzee gave he a scowl in response. He bent down to you and asked,

"Y'think you'll be alright?" You're hesitant, but you nod. It's about time you need to take care of yourself anyway. Gamzee eyes Vriska so she decides to say something

"Don't worry, I'll bring him back here when I'm done." the girl says quietly.

"I'll be waiting." snarls Gamzee, folding his arms and leaning against a wall. She nods, then turns you around, bringing you someplace more private.

Out another door and into a corner, it seems as though she brought you to a part of the school where no one really visits. She adjusted you to where you're facing each other. She inhales deeply and looks at you.

"_I like you_."

You're stunned for a moment, then you become enraged,

"What? How could you-?"

_"What is about to happen is all real so don't think that she'll be messing around. Just give her a chance to talk to you. That's all she's ever wanted."_

You remember Kanaya's words and rearrange what you want to say. You release a heavy sigh.

"**Explain yourself**. If you like me, th-then why have you been bullying me for the past 3 years of my life." She looks around nervously and plays with her fingers.

"_All my life_" She starts, "I've waited for someone like you to come along. A _sweet, honest, kind, modest_ guy. Someone I think could take care of me. Always be there for me. And I vowed, when I thought of the criteria, that I would not even_ bother_ myself with anyone else. _And-_" she grunted stressed and flustered trying to think of what she wanted to say, "A-And then, then someone like that**_ did_** come along! It was you, and you were so perfect in every way I could think, but... I was- I was so _scared_. I didn't _realise_ how _weird_ it was to be in love with someone. I didn't know how to handle it. Then I saw you with other girls. Laughing, smiling.. it made me... _disgustingly_** jealous**. And all I wanted to do was_ break_ you, make you _miserable_, and only I could do this because it satisfied me... Made me think you were actually mine... That's why I've treated you like for so long..."

"Then why are you now deciding to actually just **_TELL_** me your feelings?"

"Because!" She shouted, interrupting you, then she began to choke, "Because I've come to learn what a horrible,_** horrible**_ person I was. I'm so fucked up in the head and at that moment was_ fully aware of it_. I _knew_ if I _tried_ to be with you, you'd just turn me away... But then... _then_ I saw all these couples around me. Both of them were just so_ joyful_ and- and _filled with** light**_! Never complain... never have a problem... So, I_ figured it out_." She bubbles nervously with a smile. "That- That if you're_ together_ with someone, all your problems are solved! All that pain, that stress, it all _goes away_! Because couples.. they help each other! Help with their struggles and everything! And if I wanted anyone to love me and help, I wanted you to be the one Tav! So please! Go out with me!" she confessed.

None of this made sense to you, everything she was presenting to you was just so out of place. But you knew what needed to be done.

You're going to hate yourself after this.

"_Vriska_," you say, trying to not make eye contact, "this _isn't_ going to work out between us the way you want it to." your words were stern. You could almost feel the pain that ached from the girl who stood in front of you.

"Wh," she sputtered, _"What_? Why _not_? We would be perfect for eachother...! And you're so_ sweet,_ and_ nice_ and_- and_ I **_don't know where else_** to g-!"

"**I'm not going out with you, Vriska.**" you interrupt her. "_I'm sorry._" You can hear her begin to choke up. Then she lets her tears go. Her face was tightened, crying hard into her hands. You're not sure what else to do then just sit there. There was guilt in your heart, but you knew this was right. She then attempts to stop crying, squeezing words between her tears,

"Fine," she whimpers finally. Her tone was different, "If you aren't going to go out with me-"

"Vriska, what are you doing?" You begin to panic,

"-then you know what?-" she curled her hand showing her massively sharp nails,

"Vriska wait, you need to calm down!" Vriska then became hysterical

_"-I'm going to make **YOUR** life as** MISERABLE** as** MINE!-**"_

"VRISKA **NO**!" You shout, covering your head and shutting your eyes tight.

You then hear a painful shout..

wait...

wait a second you recognize that voice...

You look up.

Gamzee was standing in front of you, back towards you. Vriska looked shocked and backed away. The older teen turns around steadily, looking at you, and you gasp. Three clean scratches were clawn deep into his face. Blood began to drip out of the wounds and stream down his face. His hand touches the gash, and he sees the blood.

Rage filled his face as he clenched his fists. Before you could say anything, he swings his hand at her, slapping her face as hard as he could. She fell to the ground with an unsettling thud.

"G-Gamzee, _stop_!" You try to yell, but Gamzee pounces onto the girl grabbing the rim of her shirt and pulling her bruised face close to him.

"WHAT THE_ FUCK_ DID I_ MOTHER**FUCKING**_ TELL YOU?"

"Gamzee, _**get off her**_!" you demand.

"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO DO TO HIM?" Gamzee says shoving his bloodied hand into her face.

You watch all of this in fear, frozen, not knowing what to do.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING YOU _PSYCHO BITCH!_" Gamzee screeched at the crying girl who was frightened to the bone. Without another word he raised a tight fist into the air, that was about to crush Vriska's face.

"**_GAMZEE!_**"

You shout, grabiing his fist with practically your entire body before it strikes. The crazy-eyed clown looked at you confused. You shook your head at him. He huffed angrily, but stood up and got off of the sobbing girl.

You tend to Vriska.

Abandoning your wheelchair, you sit next to her. You take off her glasses, then with your thumb, graze her tears away, trying to not push on her wound too much. Both your foreheads rested on each other and you felt remorse heavy on your shoulders. The girl continued to cry, trying to grasp for air so she could say something,

"_Why_," she whimpers between her weeping, "Why do I have to be so_ fucked up_? Why won't you just please help me and figure out who I am? That's all I want..."

You're silent for a moment. Her breathing was out of control from her bawling like that, and sounded like a lost little girl.

"WHY  
_***gasp***_  
WON'T  
_***gasp***_  
YOU  
_***gasp***_  
HELP  
_***gasp***_  
ME?"

She was so frantic that she could barely talk. Her chest was moving up and down, allowing her lungs to expand as far as they could.

"Vriska," you say softly, "You can't have someone else fix you. There's only so much they can do. Fixing yourself is only one person's job."

"Who?" her voice trembles.

"_Yourself_." Vriska looks at you. You give her a comforting smile and brush her hair with your fingers.

"The first rule of love, is loving yourself. Accepting who you are and loving it. Never doubting anything you do. If you're not happy, then, well, uh, you need to learn how to change for the better. But not for anyone, for yourself. Change to what you know is right. All anyone else can do is stand by and give you advice. Give you support and be there if you fall. But only you can use those strong legs of yours to stand up." You chuckle, "_That's_ an ironic statement coming from a cripple." She gives away to a shaky smile.

"You need to be ambitious and help yourself. Sadly, this won't happen overnight. I'm not going to lie to you, it**_ will_** take weeks, months, even** years**. In fact... heh, I'm still trying to help myself out. I can't say if I'm ready or not, but I know I've learned to approve of the kind of person I am now. Being in a relationship isn't about forcing your own problems onto other people." Her murky blue eyes stared at you.

"You need to be strong, Vriska. I _know_ you have that _strength_." She stares at your searching for herself in your eyes, her bottom lip still quivering.

You breathe a little laugh.

"You stopped crying." you say. She giggles a little, then gives you a tight hug. Your arms go around her comfortingly.

"That was what I needed to hear Tavros. Someone like you to tell me those words. You're the _only_ I know who would be able to help me get my self confidence back." She buries her face into your shoulder a little deeper.

**_"Thank you."_**

After the embrace, she helps you get back into your chair. She begins to walk towards the door, but the she turns around with a smile.

"Thank you again... and.. I'm so sorry. If you want, you can go ahead and tell the office what I did to him." She gestures towards Gamzee, "If anything I deserve that much." Her words were sincere, and then she just left. You give the moment a brief smile but you turn to Gamzee completely concerned.

"Jesus," you say looking at the cuts. You beckoned him to lean down and you touched the wounds with your fingers, "Oh God look at this.. Are you okay? I can't believe this happened, this is_ all my fault._.." He places his knees right next you on your wheelchair, practically sitting on your lap, his eyes blankly looking down. Your head shakes a bit as you examine the wounds more carefully.

"These are going to leave scars..._** Dammit**_, why'd you **_do_** this, there was no reason for you to just-" But before you can continue, Gamzee hugs you.

"G-Gamzee, what are you...? If you do that I-"

"I was worried." He says, cutting you off. "So I followed you. Glad I did, or else you'd have these ugly things on your face." You feel him smile a bit, but it went away fast, "I'll admit, I was... surprised.. when she confessed to you."

"Why?"

"...Just di'n't expect it, I guess." You became flustered and didn't know what to say next.

"Gamzee... w-why'd you do this? Why'd you go and jump in front of Vriska like that?"

"Because..." He bit his lip a little, then confessed, "Right now, you're the most important person to me. And I can't let anything happen to you."

"What?" You can feel your face turn red as the words wrapped around your heart.

"I know, it sounds stupid, but I've never been so close to anyone like this before. Like,_ literally_, **_no one_**. So how could I let my best bro get all up 'nd hurt like that?" You finally decide to rest your arms a little bit on Gamzee.

"...Tell me why Vriska's confession startled you." He didn't say anything for a bit,

"Wasn't ok." You wanted to tell him that didn't make sense to you. But then he asked, "Do girls usually confess to you?"

"I... I don't know. It's definately not the first time. It's happened plenty before. H-Hey, what's up with you today? Are you alright?"

He was silent, still locking you in his arms. Your heart was beating hard against your rib cage.

"G-Gamze, _you're hurt._"

"I know Tavros." His arms pull you closer, **_"I know._**"


	6. ch6: lOUSY: NSFWFINAL

Gamzee was fine.

When you took him to the nurse, she flipped out, but you lied and said he was attacked by a stray cat. You think it'd be pretty rude to rat out Vriska, plus you think she doesn't need that kind of stress on her right now. As much as the nurse was concerned for Gamzee, all she could do was put something on the scrapes to disinfect them. If she were to put any sort of bandage on his face, it just wouldn't after that just seemed pretty... weird. Sort of like a dream, as if this all wasn't really happening. Because this doesn't happen to normal people. As if this is some giant cliche drama series that keeps getting more typical every second. But no. This is all happening, and this is all happening to you. The day went by same as always. The wonderfully, hilarious, exciting, and comforting way as always. Lunch was a little weird since Gamzee sticked around, but smoked a bowl of his precious weed while he was with us. Everyone seemed fairly unphased aside from yourself, because like the loser you are, you worry the shit out of yourself. It hurts a little to see what Gamzee does to himself, but it keeps him in line, so you don't say anything about it. After that he's fairly baked and acts like his usual, ridiculous self. Thunder rumbles in the distance as all your friends sit outside during lunch. Nepeta squeals and buries her face into Equius's shoulder. He was slightly sweaty due to the physical contact but he held the tiny girl.

"Jethuth Chritht, check out that thunder cloud. It lookth like there'th going to be a fucking _monthoon_ or thome shit." Sollux states, pointing at the mass of water vapor far away.

"Does it really look that big?" Terezi asks with a slightly concerned look on her face,

"No dumbass, it's tiny as a god damn grape but_ HELL!_ It's the equivalence to a fucking monsoon! Use a little logic for once, will you?" Karkat sasses back at the blind girl. She just snickered in response.

"Well, a good rainstorm _would_ be nice. It has been excruciatingly warm these past few days and has gotten me overwhelmingly perspiring." Equius mummbles, wiping his forehead with his thumb. Nepeta automatically pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and happily dabbed Equius's forehead. He gave a nervous, sincere smile and held her waist as she continued to wipe. After a small giggle in reaction, you continue to munch down on your food. When you swallow the chewed remains of chicken in your mouth, you lean down on your back, looking at Gamzee who relaxed in a corner of the school behind you. A smoking joint in one hand, and a bottle of grape Faygo in the other, you call out to your totally stoned friend.

"How you doin' Gam?"

"Yes, thanks." He grunted happily in response, and you laugh a little to yourself.

lIKE AN ASTRONAUT,,

Classes swiftly passed you throughout the day. 8th hour, Vriska didn't show up, but you weren't so sure why. Then again she ditches classes sometimes.  
When the end of the day finally, arrived, Gamzee walked you over to the bus.

"Uh, so you got my address memorized? You _**sure**_ you won't forget?" You ask, pushing your wheels down the concrete sidewalks.

"Yeah, Bro. No worries, I may have a messed up thinker, but I don't forget shit like this." His voice growled happily.

"Well, alright, if you say so." Finally reaching your bus, you turn to Gamzee with a half a smile, "So. Tomorrow. 7 o'clock?" Gamzee gave a nod and a smirk to confirm the time. A chuckle slips from your lips, but before he turned to leave, you grab his arm and nervously say, "Thanks for today Gamzee. You really didn't have to take that hit for me. I really appreciate it." Gamzee gave another smile.

"'Course, Bro. Gotta help a motherfucker out, ya know. Watch their backs and shit." he grabbed at your nose and wiggled it a bit briefly, followed by a "Honk." And with that, he was gone again.

Going through the same old process of boarding onto the bus, you're back sitting in silence and by yourself, as always. As you were loaded off the bus, a threatening thunder rumbled throughout your neighborhood. It made you jump a little, but you're not frightened. Although, that massive dark cloud above your head seems like it'll start squeezing out rain at you pretty soon, so you kind of rush home. Unlocking your front door, you roll up the ramp leading to the inside of your house. Being home alone was something you were actually use to. Mom works two jobs and they always take up most of her time. You've tried to get a job yourself but, your mother won't let you because she says that you don't have to do anything to help her. She cares for you too much, to the point where she doesn't let you do anything out of the way for her. Your mom is weird, but hell, you love her anyway.

Hours later into the night, after eating a poorly healthy dinner, you were watching an old favorite of yours. Peter Pan, of course. It's the only thing you watch whenever you feel a little depressed or lonely, which is what you are both feeling right now. Though eager to see Gamzee tomorrow, you really miss him, and you really wish he was here with you now.

All these emotions you've had for Gamzee still haven't made sense to you. But you can't think of it now. It'll probably make your depression worse. Instead, you focus on Peter Pan. Oh! It's at your favorite song too.

"Well a Mother, a _REAL_ Mother, is the most _wonderful_ person in the world!" Says Wendy's sweet voice. She reaches over to pick up Michael and set her on her lap as she continues. "She's the angel voice..." she adjusts Michael, "...that bids you good night. Kisses your cheek," she stops surprised to see the paint still on her little brother's face. With her gentle hands, she wipes it off, "Whispers, sleep tight." And her voice dives into a heartfelt song that always reminded you of your own mother who you love deeply.

hUH, lOVE,  
mAYBE i LOVE gAMZEE,

You laugh at the thought and let it go. But it comes right back to smack you in the face. Holy shit. Maybe you _DO_ love Gamzee... If you suddenly put the word love in the equation, everything makes sense. But... But how could you even manage to love him? This wasn't like you at all! You've never fallen in love with a guy before! Hell! You never thought of doing it in the first place! Yet here you are, somehow in giant mess of homosexual feels.

Immediately your face dove into a pillow that was casually placed next to you. Wow. Now there's no _doubt_ in your mind you're in love with Gamzee! All this loneliness, all this depression, it's all because you love him and nothing anytime soon is about to change that!  
A scream of frustration was muffled into the pillow. But it wasn't only frustration- it was an epiphany for your undeniable love too.  
So... you guess it is true. You love Gamzee Makara.

The thought lingered and echoed in your mind for what felt like an eternity. After collecting your scattered emotions, you sigh hard and return back to the movie. Though you've established the idea, it's not like you can _do_ anything about. Not right now. For the time being, you'll just have to ride out the ache and let it be something that's in your mind that's just kind of... _there_.

The movie starts to roll the credits, you hit the stop button, and restart the whole movie again. You have this entire movie memorized. You know every line, every scene, every queue of every song (which all the names you know). In fact, you can watch this movie without even looking and know what's going on.

Jesus, you wish you could fly. Just fly away, having no worries, always moving about. Halfway through the movie when you were quoting every line, you decide to look at the clock.

"Holy shit," you swear loudly. You like yelling to yourself when no one is home, especially curse words, "It's 2:17 in the morning! Whoopdee-**_fucking_**-DOO." You squirm around on your couch, and decide to watch the movie upside down. Why not. At the same time you turn up the volume of the TV so it would block out the harsh amounts of rain scattering on your house that were accompanied by occasional booms of thunder and flashes of lightning. Another explosion in the sky over powered the sound of your Peter Pan's voice and was followed by a brief moment of light that flooded your house for less than a second. One would think, Gee, the wimpy kid who's super self-conscience must be afraid of stuff like this! Well no, actually. In reality, you feel quite apathetic about thunderstorms or monsoons or whatever. If anything, you find them _interesting_, but also annoying sometimes.

But what did scare you was the unexpect 3 hard knocks on your door. You sat up and stared at the front entrance for a moment. There's no way someone is here. Not out in whether like this. Not at this hour. The knocks bashed at your door again, except this time there were words that followed them.

"KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKER." Your door yelled at you. Your eyes widened, knowing the voice,

gAMZEE?

Muting the movie, you scrambled to your wheelchair and rolled over to the door, unlocking it and opening up to the rainstorm. Droplets of rain attacked your face. In the doorway stood a very wet Gamzee whose face paint was dripping from his chin.

"O-Oh my god!" You cry out, pulling your friend inside, then closing the door. He was slumping his back while standing, not saying anything. You reach up and part his soaking black hair out of the way of his face. "Jesus Christ Gamzee, what are you doing here! Are you alright?" He didn't respond, all he did was stare at the floor, only revealing a sliver of his bloodshot eyes. But you could tell those kind of eyes weren't from drugs.

**He's been crying.**

"_Uh-_" you stutter, _"L-Look_, just sit here for now," you say, gesturing to your couch, "I'll go get some towels." The clown sat down, drenched in rain from head to toe, still silent. You roll as fast as you can to get a few towels to dry your friend off and come back to see he still hasn't moved an inch.

hE MUST BE REALLY UPSET,,, i HOPE HE'S OK,,,

Pushing yourself in front of him, you grab a white towel in your lap, and began to dry Gamzee's hair. He did not stop you as you rubbed his head in the towel. Your eyes trail to the parts of the hardwood floor where he was standing and saw there were puddles of white and purple face paint, but you decide to clean that up later. His clumpy wet hair begins to break up and dry when the towel has absorbed a good lot of the water that accumulated in Gamzee's raven colored locks. Grabbing another towel you quietly and diligently pat down Gamzee's shirt, even though it barely does him any good. Your lips twist to the side at the slight failure of trying to dry his shirt. You look back up at Gamzee and he's still hasn't broken eye contact with the ground, and you let out a short sigh. Lifting your hand, your fingers brush aside his bangs once more, revealing his face. Now that you're closer, it was very obvious that he was crying. His eyes were puffy and slightly red, along with the tip of his nose. Finally, you and him made eye contact.  
"Gamzee?" your voice whispers, "Are you OK? Did... _Did something happen_?" He looked down again,  
"I got kicked out," his voice grumbles.  
"_What?_ By who?"  
"My old man. Tried to talk to him and he got mad. Not at me though. Not at first. I knew I finally exposed him, letting the world see his all his motherfucking flaws and mistakes. But _**apparently**_, THE MOTHERFUCKER COULDN'T HANDLE IT!" He shouts. His voice lowered back to a mumble, "So what does he do? Takes it out on me. Said I had to leave. Couldn't come back home until he takes off again. I don't even know if he cares about me, hell," tears began to appear in Gamzee's eyes again, and your heart sinks, "I bet he don't even think of me as a _human_.." He starts sobbing hard into his hands, and you're uncertain as to what to do but just sit there and watch him. Making up your mind, your arms stretch around him gently in a comforting hug. His crying didn't stop, it just was muffled by your shirt. You could feel the warm liquid stain on your shoulder along with the cold rain.  
"Hey Tav?" his voice shakes through the cries, "Know why I wear that _stupid_ clown makeup all the time?" You stay silent, "Because that motherfucker I call 'Dad' told me when I was a kid, 'You're a fucking disgrace, your birth was a mistake, AND A FACE LIKE YOURS SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO EXIST'!" The way he roared that last part made you feel like your soul was shattered.

oH MY GOD,,,  
hE WASN'T INSECURE,,, hE WAS _NEVER_ INSECURE,,,  
hE WAS TAUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF, aND BEING HIDDEN LIKE THIS WAS TOLD TO BE PREFERRED,,

You pull him closer, to the point where all you breathed in was his scent. It was probably the most toxic thing to enter your nose, because it was like a poison that made you weak, that made you lower your guard and love the damned creature clinging to you.  
"GOD MOTHERFUCKING **_DAMMIT_**!" He shouts between the tears.

You've never seen Gamzee act like this, and it scares you. It scares you and it's hurting you because you know one hard fact: He is in pain and there's barely a thing you can do. There's nothing you can really say. So you don't say anything. Instead, you hold wet body, allowing him to cry into your shoulder. His arms reach from underneath yours and grasps tightly onto the back of your shirt. For a good 20-30 minutes, you both just sat there, holding each other. In the loud silence of everything.

Once Gamzee got a hold of his composure, he was half dry and his eyes regained their puffiness. He pulled away from the embrace, sniffling and rubbing his nose. He looks up at you, and you both exchange half a smile. This was the first time you've seen Gamzee without his traditional clown make up, and there was no doubt that there were traces of stress on his face. The scars from the wounds have sealed up, but it doesn't help him at all. You still feel guilty. Dark circles around his eye sockets, and when you look closer at Gamzee's eyes, they weren't the usual color. Meaning he wasn't high. You start to panic.  
"G-Gamze... you're not... SOBER are you?" Your shaky voice asks.  
"Kinda, still got some weed in my system, I think. I dunno, can't tell nowadays. But- don't worry about it. Only reason I'm high all the time is so I won't be all motherfuckin emotional. All up 'nd cryin' and being pissed and shit. B'Now that I've got that out of me, I won't need no drugs. Not now, at least." he snorted.  
"Heh, ok then." You hop out of your chair and onto the seat available next to Gamzee. "So... why did you come to my house? I thought you lived closer to Sollux and Karkat." The older teen gave a shrug,  
"Dunno. Just kinda left the house and walked until I reached somewhere I knew. Didn't really feel like going over to the other Brothers house anyhow. They don't care too much about how I feel." He looked at you with a smile, "Not like you do." Your cheeks blushed slightly, and you look down to the floor.  
"O-Oh." Your eyes dart between the wooden floor and Gamzee until you decide which one to look that, which would be Gamzee. "Uh. My mom is out the whole weekend. I guess you can stay until Sunday night."  
"Really? You'll let me stay?" Gamzee asked, slightly excited.  
"Well, you were kicked out. If you have other places to go that'd-" before you could finish your sentence, you were cut off by a big hug from Gamzee, almost making you lose your balance.  
"No, _this works_! Thanks Tavbro!" His enthusiasm powered the strength of hug, and boy did he have a lot of it. Once again, your face blossomed to a cherry red when you were in contact with Gamzee. The fact he was touching wasn't good in the first place, the fact that he was touching you and you have a CRUSH on him, made things worse. He pulled away with a smile that stretched from ear to ear. But... he didn't quite let go of you. His arms were still lazily wrapped around your torso, but you try to ignore it. His smile relaxed into a smirk as you found him once again staring at you.  
"Wh-What's up Gamzee? Something wrong?" you ask with a nervous grin. He didn't respond. Again with his oddly colored irises, he was taking a hold of your heart, making it pulse faster and harder than usual. Though this happens every time you stare into those luscious circles of purple, this time it was different. The way he looked at you and the way he was holding you was all very... very, different from before.  
"Gamzee, you're making me uncomf-" almost immediately after you start talking, Gamzee dipped his face into yours and stole a kiss from your lips. That's right.

A KISS.

And not just an ordinary kiss, it wasn't a peck, it wasn't a poke of lips, oh no. He _groped_ your lips with his own. The moment that happened, all of your blood rushed to your face and were you embarrassed as fuck. You pulled away as your hands cover your mouth in shock, and your eyes just stared at Gamzee, as if he just killed someone.  
"_**Gamzee, what are you-!**_"  
"_Love you_."  
"Wh-Wha?"  
"Fucking **_love_** you, motherfucker." His voice admitted. He blushed slightly, giving a casual look he tried to hard to fake.  
"I-I don't really-"  
"When we first talked, like, literally **_FIRST TALKED_**, I thought you were pro'lly the _cutest_ little fucker I've met. All flustered and blushy and shit. But I never really got to know you. Never even got the chance to remember your name. 'Course, whenever you were around, I was either ridiculously high or just too damn shy to even talk to you. Thought I'd never be able to meet you, so I gave up... Until the miraculous day I was late, and you were in a wheelchair, which freaked me out a little. I tried not to stare,"  
tHAT'S WHY IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE HE NOTICED ME THAT MORNING,,,  
"And felt real motherfuckin' stupid when I couldn't remember a name I never got,"  
sO HE REALLY JUST DIDN'T KNOW ME,,,  
"But I was real excited when Hussie gave me the job. Thought to m'self, finally! Now I can get to know this adrobs motherfucker!"  
"'A-Adorbs'?"  
"Pft," Gamzee snickered, "Yeah.." His fingers then rose up and brushed through the auburn waves on top of your scalp, and it made you flinch, and slightly pull away. Gamzee's smile faded at the reaction, and he removed his arms from your waist, retracting them back to himself. You've been confessed to multiple times, but not by a guy. Not a by a guy you like back. So you're not really sure how to go about this. All you can do is sit there and stare at the dark figure whose back is arched, eyes returned to the floor. Breaking the silence, Gamzee inhales through his nose and stands up,  
"This ain't goin' so well." His hard voice mumbled. Your eyes widen as he approaches the door,  
c'MON YOU BIG WIMP, SAY SOMETHING!  
His hand wraps around the door knob,  
yOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR CHANCE DUMB ASS, hURRY UP!  
Then the door's open, letting the calmer rain shower in.  
dO IT ALREADY!  
he's almost completely outside until,  
"_**Wait!**_"  
The word leaped out of your mouth, almost a sob. The door stops itself from closing, and a half-drenched Gamzee turns his head slightly, listening to what you have to say. You bite at your bottom lip, more nervously than you should.  
"_Please come back_," Your voice whimpers. Gamzee slowly closed the door and returned back to the couch, not facing you. A hand of his hand was grasping his messy black hair, almost pulling it out.  
"Never felt this way about a motherfucker. I ain't gay or nothin, I just... _LIKE_. 'Nd when I do, I'm pretty cool about it, y'know? S'all fine and shit, pretty casual about confessions and being with them 'nd all. But _you_..." he lets out a small laugh. You can see under the void of hair a flushing red face. "I dunno what to do with _you_. Sometimes- I just can't help but stare at ya, being all fuzzy and warm and weird inside. Y'make me_ nervous,_ Tavbro. To the point where I'm shaking to the bone. And... S'amazing. And I just know that I like you more than anything in my life, and I can't stand it because I just need you with me all the motherfuckin' time. Feel like I'm motherfuckin' dying when you ain't around. But I feel like that too when you're so close and it just GETS to me." His lips then curled inwards and you almost hear his heart clobbering his rib-cage.

This isn't Gamzee sitting in front of you anymore.  
It's not that dopey, confused clown you met at school.

This is now a teenage boy who's in love with you, and is heart-breakingly nervous about this confession.

The storm was slowly leaving, the house stood in a hush.  
By now, you can feel the blood in your cheeks turning your almond skin to a scarlet red, and you're certain you're about to have a heart attack with a pulse like this surging through your body. It felt like you were being destroyed from the inside, out. And you have no fucking clue what to do about it.

i LOVE YOU,  
i LOVE YOU,  
i LOVE YOU, aND, tHERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO THINK OF IT

With those thoughts in mind, your decision was final. Your heart is still.  
Pushing your hands into the cushions of your couch, you nudge Gamzee with your head. When you get his attention, you immediately kiss him and retreat back where you were. As expected, he was completely shocked, eyes bigger than the moon. Your lips quivered with joy and you could feel embarrassment and cheer surround your being.  
"Y-You-" He chokes out, and you cut him off with a  
"Yeah," giving a half smile. "It... It hurts me too."

And with those words, Gamzee's face is brighter than any star in the night sky. The sight made your insides flutter like a bird trapped in a cage. "At first, uh, I couldn't exactly _tell_ I liked you. B-Because I've never considered liking a guy before. So the concept was sorta... _foreign_ to me. But, I-I _knew_ it wasn't friendship that was between us. It was just... _so much more_. I really... _like_ you Gamzee." Then you looked away, completely bewildered by the moment. You were amazed by your ability to croak out that last part. You never thought you'd ever use any of those words all together, but you're glad you did.  
Gamzee's hand crawled over to yours and grasped it. Once again, your gaze met with his, and he smiled at you. With that same smile he always has on. The only difference is this time- _it was all yours._ And you couldn't help but smile at that.  
Slowly, you both leaned into each other, gently knocking your foreheads together. A small chuckle wisped out out of your mouth, and Gamzee did the same. The small snickers turned into obnoxious giggles as you pulled each other closer together. Torsos inching in, hands holding tighter, faces so close, the moment was invigorating and you loved. Laughs dying down, Gamzee's spectacular purple eyes casted upon you once more. Only your breaths filled the air. Slow, steady breaths... Almost synchronizing with each other. Finally a voice breaks in, a grinding baritone voice, Gamzee's voice.  
"Is it... Can-Can I _kiss_ you again?" He asked modestly. Your face had a rose colored tint to it when you thought of kissing Gamzee again.  
"_S-Sure_..." your shaky voice squirmed from your lips. Gamzee gave a short, happy breath with a smile, searching you with those beautiful irises. All the sudden, his neck craned down to gently peck at your puckering lips. It made you shudder. He searched your reaction, trying to figure if it was ok. He tried again with another kiss, this one a little more intimate. Before you could take another breath, he dipped in for a longer, harder kiss, inhaling as if there wasn't enough oxygen in the air. The connection of your faces made your entire spine tingle. Then, it was gone as soon as you two released from the kiss. Both you and Gamzee looked at each other amazed, because you knew you both had the exact same chill. Gamzee then dived into your face, lips pushing and nibbling at your bottom lip and you tried to do the same for him. His other hand swooped in and caressed your head, pushing it into you. You couldn't hold your balance anymore with the eager lover pushing you like this, so you allowed yourself to gradually fall into the couch. Gamzee, still not releasing from the prying of lips, adjusted himself to where he was sitting on top of your lap. His tongue then forced his way between your teeth, spreading itself all around the inside of your mouth. You hummed a noise of surprise with the sudden intrusion, but it boiled down into groans of pleasure. His and your own tongues were now dancing and slurping together in the most exotic dance you've partaken in. The dance stopped and he pecked your lips. He moved down to your jaw bone, the he began to nibble at your neck, sucking it lightly. A gasp was let out, realizing how sensitive you were on your neck. However, you bit your lip as he continued to suck at your skin. Unexpectedly, cold finger tips touched your abdomens and you let out a yelp,  
"_Wait_!" You struggle, squirming up from him, "_Waitwaitwait_!" Gamzee looked at you more sorry than disappointed,  
"Aw, shit bro, I'm sorry!" He said, beginning to get off of you with an ashamed grimace, "I shoulda asked ya if y'were all up and comfortable with this kinda-"  
"No!" you pull down at him, bringing your torsos close again, "No, I-I'm loving this. It's just, uh, we can't do this. I mean, here, that is.." You scratch the back of your head, feeling awkward for what you're about to say, "We need to get to my bedroom." Gamzee's smile quickly returned. Jumping right off the couch, he scooped you up in his arms and held you like a parent would hold a child.  
"Where to, my wicked brother?" His voice chimed,  
"Uh, this way," you said, pointing down a hall. Pushing open your bedroom door, you felt very bothered at the horrendous sight, "S-Sorry about this... My room's a, uh, a real mess."  
"S'aight with me bro." Gamzee grinned, closing the door with his foot, "Is that yo bed over there?"  
"Uh, y-yeah, it**_WHOA_**!" Gamzee then tossed you onto the unmade bed, flopping himself on top of you, causing you to laugh. But that laugh turned into whimpers when he began to kiss at your neck again. His hand slipped back up your shirt, and you shuddered. The tips of his fingers skimmed their way up your body, then pinching hard at your stiffened nipples, causing you to squeal. With your reaction you could feel Gamzee smile on your neck. Gamzee then pulled you up so you're sitting and softly began to push your lips together once more. Your arms wrapped him around his neck, pulling your heads closer. But he broke the kiss and pushed your arms off only to remove your shirt, then pick up where he left off with your lips. Being without your shirt made you feel uncomfortably exposed as your body squirmed together with the warmer figure in front of you. His hands grasped your bare back as your kisses became deeper and passionate. You both flopped back into the mass of bedsheets and Gamzee forced himself away from you, pulling off his own shirt and tossing it the ground. Watching him strip like that was probably the hottest thing you've seen.  
"Christ," you breathe. You examined his physique, it was a cross between skinny and muscular which somehow worked on him. A hot firmness in your pants started to become apparent when Gamzee's own boner accidentally rubbed against yours. Gamzee was aware of the contact and he sighed hard at the amazing feeling.  
"_Holy sh_..!" You couldn't finish your statement because it was overpowered by a moan which was triggered from another grind. Continuously, Gamzee kept pushing and swirling his hips, massaging your hard-ons together through your pants. It felt so good but it was a massive tease for you, although, you love suffering like this. However, Gamzee couldn't hold it in anymore. His hand shot down for your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping and revealing the band of your boxers.  
"_Sorry_," he huffed into your ear, and then his hand slipped underneath the layer of clothing, following the trail of pubic hair to your bulging member, wrapping his fingers around it tightly.  
"Shit, dude!" you cry out at the contact, snatching him with your arms around his neck. He didn't pull away, instead, he began to pull at your skin. Tugging it up and down, gradually getting faster, every now and then using his thumb to swipe or push at the head of your dick. Your breath matched with the rhythm Gamzee's hand pulled at. Trying to look away, you just couldn't. The sight of Gamzee jerking you off was far too arousing so all you did was stare and pant hard. But it wasn't fast enough for you. Awkwardly and ungracefully, you begged for him to tug at you faster. You could feel him grin into your neck, then bite it as he did what he was told. The bite was a mix of painful and sweet and you didn't dare to protest him to stop. On the contrary, you urged him to keep chomping at your skin, all while he pumped your overheated rod. However, you couldn't just leave him hanging, it was unfair he wasn't getting any attention. So you decide to sneak your hand over to Gamzee's pajama pants, pulling down at both of his waistbands, allowing his throbbing cock to pour out of the cloth. Doing the exact same movement as Gamzee was to you, you could feel his pre-cum seeping onto your belly, and it felt like warm syrup on you. When you began to do that, you could feel Gamzee shiver in your arms, breathing becoming shakier.

"Here," your voice says, breaking the soundtrack of heaving, "Drop your hips down, right on top of me." Your hands pull Gamzee's sweats down to his knees, exposing more of his skin. After that, Gamzee did what he was told, and now both of your genitals were touching together. Feeling Gamzee's dick beating against your like that sent your heart ablaze. It felt way too amazing. Gathering some courage, you took Gamzee's hand and made it wrap around both of your shafts. The nearly sober teenager nodded at the action, knowing what you were asking for. His grip tightened and he started pulling at both of you, squishing your erectiles together in a hot, pulsating, gooey mess. Holding yourself up by Gamzee's neck, he shoved his tongue down your throat, lapping the inside of your mouth. You slip your tongue into his own mouth and you licked just as rough.

"You ever," Gamzee said between the kisses, "Done this before?"  
"Y-Yeah," you gasp out. Gamzee's kisses and hand stopped, staring at you. You looked back at him with the same confused look, "_What_?"  
"Wait- **_You_**. You've done it before?" He questioned.  
"Y-yeah, I just said yeah.." you twist your lips to the side, nodding slightly.  
"Like... _what_, with _chicks_?"  
"Gamzee you're the first guy I've liked, what do you think."  
"Y-You're not a **_virgin_**?" he said, sounding a bit shocked.  
"_No_, not really... Why is that sucha big-" you stopped and then you gave him a smug look, "Gamzee, are YOU a virgin?" Gamzee's cheeks turned a peachy red color,  
"_Nnnnnoooooo..?_"  
"You _liar_!" You laugh, pushing him playfully. The American laughed, feeling awkward. "I thought _you_ of all people _wouldn't_ be a virgin!"  
"Why d'ya say that? Is that suppose to _offend_ me?"  
"N-no, I just thought since, you know, you're super cool and attractive and all that you'd have...girls all over you... and, uh, stuff..." you began to trip on your words.  
"Y'think I'm attractive?" he sputtered with a grin, "You say some weird shit Tavbro." More laughter followed. "Well, alright Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Before.. Why don't you show me some of your skills?" Gamzee growled, licking his lips. At the request your eyes bulge from your sockets at the request.  
"B-But... I'm not that good... And... And h-how would I do-"  
"I can ride ya." Gamzee shrugged, then dipping down to slurp at your neck, "Sound good to you, Bro?" You shuddered but awkwardly agreed. With approval, Gamzee got off of you and sat at the end of the bed in order to take all of his pajama pants off, revealing the rest of his skin. Quickly, you do the same by pushing off your jeans and boxers, leaving your boner standing straight up. Then you move yourself to where you're sitting against a wall. Gamzee climbs back onto the bed looking at you seductively, proceeding to straddle you, resting his hands on your shoulders. Your entire body was quivering from nervousness, fear, and being utterly aroused. But you can't just sit there anymore, you have work to do, so you continue like you've done in your past sex experiences. A couple of fingers slip into your mouth, lubing them in your saliva, then they reach over and began to rub at Gamzee's asshole. A hard breath was let out of him, eyes fluttering closed. You swallow hard and then ease one finger inside of him, pushing it in and out in order to stretch him open. The invasion made Gamzee's fingers dig into your skin, and him slowly collapse into the curve of your body, pretty much spooning the two of you. The position made you smile and bury your face into your lover's neck, grasping one of his lower cheeks in one hand, and pleasing him with another. When your first finger became lonely, you allowed another finger to squirm inside of him. Both of them in a pattern of stretching, shoving, grinding and swirling. In response to the dancing fingers, Gamzee wrapped his arms around you, panting sweetly and lustfully into your ear. You could feel his throbbing cock pushed against your stomach grow hotter and ooze out more of its nectar. Just to be on the safe side, you slip one more finger in, and Gamzee gasped a swear word. It was clearly driving him insane from the amounts of teasing you were putting him through and it couldn't be a more erotic sight. Still fingering the older teen, you bring up your other hand and spit on it, then allow it to grease your pulsing meat for an easier insert. You then nudged Gamzee off and took your fingers out of him, looking into those amethyst colored eyes once more. Your hands then gently gripped at his hips as you asked,

"Ok, you ready to do this?" you voiced awkwardly. Gamzee grinned, revealing all of his teeth,  
"Hell yeah, my sweet motherfucker." you laugh at the way he accepted your invite. Looping his arms around your neck, you both give each other a soft, loving kiss. But this was your queue to adjust and ready your stiffened dick, and position Gamzee's opening right over it. Knocking your foreheads together, Gamze lowered himself very carefully onto you. You could feel your head poke at the scrunched ring of skin, then the top was immersed in a tight heat. Soon your entire appendage was in a gripping, slippery warmth and it made you release a grinding moan.  
"_Shiiitt..!_" Gamzee hissed, pushing himself as low as he could on you. You knew you were all the way inside Gamzee when his ass met your thighs.  
"_O-Oh God,_" you whined, "M-move Gamzee... **_Please_**.."  
"Kay, Bro.." he agreed, then adjusting himself. With his legs, he began to push himself up, then slide himself down. "**_Fuck.._**" He purred. Gamzee began to elevate and forced down his hips, gradually becoming faster. You used your hands to support him a little bit as he worked himself on top of you. The room was filled with both of your voices as Gamzee slammed himself upon you. Never before in your life have you ever felt more aroused. Seeing Gamzee like this drove you crazy, and having his pleads fill your ear was incredible. This guy was all yours, and you honestly couldn't be happier. A hand of yours lifted to hold his face, leaning in for small kisses every chance he wasn't filling himself with you. The noise slapping between the two of you were something you've never heard of. Sure, you've had sexual intercourse before, but not like this. Not with so much love. Fingers creeping into Gamzee's tangled black forest of hair, your other hand reached down to tug at Gamzee's shaft. This caused him to growl with a smile smeared across his face, and it made your heart race. It was probably the sexiest thing you've heard. Feeling the tightness build up inside you signaled you were close, so you let out a few whimpers for Gamzee to go faster. He understood what you were trying to tell him, but instead, he forced himself off of your shaft. A whine escaped your mouth from the sudden coldness, but it didn't last long, Gamzee was throwing you violently down on your back.

"W-Wait..." you gasped as he shifted his thighs underneath your nubby legs. Your eyes widened as he started to suck at his own fingers, "G-Gamzee? Gamzee, _uh_, what the fu_**UUAAAAHHH**_!" you nearly screamed as his fingers invaded your asshole. Your arms flung on top of your face, hiding your eyes and humiliation as the long digits continuously pulsed in and out of your opening. Gamzee's Fingers squirmed and stretched inside of you, causing your voice to waver up and down, making the weirdest errotic cries that you've never heard from your mouth.  
"Gamzee, what are you _doing_!" You managed to force out. Another shudder slid through your body as you felt sudden emptiness from Gamzee removing his fingers. Your eyes peeked through the cracks of your arms, watching Gamzee with a big smile position himself a certain way you instantly recognized. Though you didn't want to say anything, you could feel all the words that wanted to escape your mouth clog in your throat. Pleas of 'Don't do it!'s and 'Just hurry up!'s wanted to be yelled at him, but your teeth dug into your bottom lip. But as if he read your mind, an intense, unexpected mass entered you and a wail of pleasure was let out from you. Christ, was that an embarrassing noise, but the way it resonated through your body felt so right. His hands gripped tightly around your hips, you let down your arms to see Gamzee grinding himself into with slow steady bumps into your backside. He was clearly nervous about doing this because you could feel his hands tremble. His eyes opened halfway to observe your reaction, and you gave him a sincere wobbly smile allowing him to know it feels good for you. Shakily, your hands raised up to him, opened up. He grinned back, letting go of your waist and slipping his fingers between yours, thus pushing your hands back onto the bed. Your eyes closed as you soaked in the gentle shoves into. But it didn't satisfy you entirely, so involuntarily you requested awkwardly,  
"G-Gamzee? Can... Can you move a little.. faster? Harder, too..." The command made the 18 year old fluster but, soon he began thrusting himself inside of you, and a grin of indulgence grew on your face as your lips trembled a, "_**Perfect.**_" With that, Gamze kept at the pace for a little bit, but the thrusts inclined in power. Soon he was ramming into you, attacking your passage with his rock hard rod. Your gasping turned into grunts and moans, as did Gamzee's, all while patches of fast breathing weaved between the noises. The way Gamzee invaded you was incredible, hitting the right spots, moving the right way, it felt like you were going to die. Tightening your grip on Gamzee's hands, you cry  
"G-Gamzee! I'm-"  
"Me too, bro-" The teen interjected with a toothy smile.  
"Don't... not inside..." You heaved. A grunt of understanding rumbled from your lovers throat. Gamzee then pulled out from you and quickly moved himself on top of you, pushing your throbbing members together. His hand squished them into each other and he began to jerk you both. Once again, you watching Gamzee do such a gesture and staring into that incredibly errotic face of his, you lost it. A intoxicating shriek came from your mouth, arching your back and spurting your sperm onto your stomach. Gamzee followed quickly at the sight of you in a world of ecstasy, and he dragged out a groaning curse word as you felt more hot goo spew onto your torso.  
Now. Both of you were huffing and wheezing, foreheads once again pushed against each other. Boners dying down, Gamzee rolled over on his back, slumping into the mattress. Your hand swabbed at the thick liquid that was spilled on your belly, giving it a gross kind of look. Instead of getting a towel, you just smear it on your bedsheets, though there was still a majority of it on your body. You'll just deal with that later. All you can do in the moment was stare at the ceiling and gradually regain your breathing. You turn your head to see Gamzee's face who was also breathing heavily. He twitched a half smile then looked at you sincerely.  
"So? How was it?" Clearly he wanted to evaluate his skills, considering he is, er- was- a virgin. You pause, scoop up another glob of cum from your abdomens and showed it to Gamzee,  
"_Lousy._" You giggle sarcastically.  
"You little-!" He laughed, shoving his shoulder into you. "YOU'RE the lousy ass motherfucker!"  
"_**Whatever!**_" You push back.  
Laughing dying down, you and Gamzee decide to take a shower together, put on some fresh clothes, and return to the couch to finish watching Peter Pan. You have it on replay and you both watch it over and over again.  
Suddenly,  
being crippled was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

You're never going to watch Peter Pan when you're depressed.

On the contrary, you'll watch it whenever you're in the happiest mood.

You have never loved someone so much.

Things are_** really** _starting to turn around for you.

* * *

**end**

* * *

SL: Oh my GOSH that was a long one :P I want to say sorry for pushing this chapter off for so long. (I have a life too!) I hope it's as good as you expected, if not, I'm sorry... Thanks for the support you guys, you're the best fans ever!


	7. chBONUSUPDATED: wHAT IS THIS

WHAT'S THAT

YOU GUYS LIKE THIS FIC A LOT

YOU WANT A SECOND PART?

LET'S JUST SAY

*update*

IT'S IN THE PROCESS OF HAPPENING!

Sorry if you loyal readers have been waiting for so long! I'm writing it as we speak, so hold those horses of yours! Promise I will be posting a chapter by the end of this week. Thanks again for all your support.

-SL


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